August 28, 2010

Jazzed

“Jesus, I’m late. I’m is so much trouble.” She says.

“What’s the problem?” I’m puzzled. She regularly works after hours to get things accomplished. We’re working on a project together, nothing earth shattering. “It’s like….seven o’clock. Does he expect you home at a certain time?”

“No. It’s you. He doesn’t like me hanging out with you.”

“But we’re not hanging out. I mean….it’s work. It’s not like we’re having dinner or anything.”

“It’s don’t know,” she says, “He gets all weird and moody and he won’t talk to me.”

“Wow. Sorry. I mean….I didn’t know. I’ll try to be more discreet next time. Less enthusiastic.” I say this with conviction, but inside I’m jazzed. I’m a threat. I have crossed that boundary into another man’s territory and he actually feels threatened by me. I’m the big dog. Continue reading Jazzed

August 25, 2010

School Daze, Plugged In and Zoned Out

School Daze, Plugged In and Zoned Out


By Alan Caruba

The older you get the faster time seems to speed by. One minute you’re talking about the Baby Boom generation, 1946 to 1964, and the next it’s Generation X, 1965-1983. If the Boomers thought the world owed them a living, the Gen X’rs were all about “relationships” and the “environment.”

Before you knew it, it was the Generation Y, often referred to as the Millennials, 1984-2002, that everyone was talking about and trying to sell crap to. The oldest of these are age 26 and the youngest age 8. Most young people think the world exists for them, but Generation Y has more reason to believe this than their parents and grandparents. Continue reading School Daze, Plugged In and Zoned Out

August 24, 2010

The Gaslight Journal is Done

Begun back sometime in 2001, this book was originally a fluke of an idea… [...]

August 21, 2010

I Love New York

I love New York, I always have, I always will. Now wait, wait hold on a second, you say, didn’t you leave New York several years ago?  Yes, I did but not because I didn’t like living there.  I left because I didn’t like the cold winters in New York.  I strongly dislike winter’s cold, snow and ice except at Christmas. Christmas weather is supposed to be cold isn’t? Yeah, it is, so you can hang stocking  by the chimney with care,  laugh a Frosty the Snowman and wait for Santa in his sleigh .  Do fur or spruce trees grow in LA?

People are always downing New York and New Yorkers, shame on them.  They do so, I think, out of jealousy.  New York is a marvelous mixture of cultures, ideas and habitats.  I’m a New Yorker born and raised.  Even though I have left my fair city home for a warmer climate it is still in me.  I am always told that I carry a distinctive NY accent when I speak.  I am often told that I dress like a New Yorker, we do have quite a bit of style you know, and that I don’t think or act like a southerner; I don’t. Continue reading I Love New York

August 18, 2010

Obese Children and Bullying

The study suggested that we not only need to encourage healthy eating habits for young children, but also need to set a good example by refraining from making negative comments about people who are overweight. Children of course, are mirrors of us and they pick up our attitude, which results in bullying behavior. In effect, we indirectly teach our children to bully. However, there is a bigger picture. We need to remember that each and every person has habits about which he or she is not proud. The difference is that if over-eating is the habit, it cannot be hidden. It is on display for all to view. [...]

August 16, 2010

A Few Determined Eggplants and I’m Debating

My favorite season is quickly drawing to an end. I live for summer. I relish my visits to the beach, the only place to get the best nature pedicure. The sand and the surf does wonders to one’s feet, all you need is a day at the beach and a bottle of nail polish. We grill almost daily; spend weekend evenings on the deck with bottle of wine, some Bruschetta made with the tomatoes and basil we’ve grown shared with good friends and family as we sit watching lake activities. Because this summer has been so memorably hot I haven’t been able to enjoy all the things I like about the warmest of the four seasons.

When it came time to plan and plant the garden last March I thought I would refrain this year. I didn’t think I was up for all the tilling and planting necessary for a vegetable garden that was until I went to the grocery store and stared in amazement at the price of tomatoes. So, by mid spring my husband and I decided that we would plant a summer garden after all. Continue reading A Few Determined Eggplants and I’m Debating

August 15, 2010

Tales from the CriBt.

Steampunk followers of the genre's sub-culture
I had a killer audition today.

At 11:00 a.m., I called Nathan and told him I wasn’t there yet–that I would be a little late.  He assured me it would be okay.  But I felt like crap about it.

I met him at a huge warehouse that used to be a local department store, with its windows blackened.  His was the only vehicle in the parking lot, which made me a little nervous, but never-the-less, I went in anyway.

I began by filling out some paperwork, and then we talked for probably an hour.  He was happy to share his concept with me. Continue reading Tales from the CriBt.

August 8, 2010

There’s Nothing Gay about Being Gay

There’s Nothing Gay about Being Gay


By Alan Caruba

There are two topics I generally try to avoid discussing. Number one on the list is homosexuality. Number two is most things having to do with religion, although it is impossible to ignore it in a world where a militant Islam is causing so much conflict.

I would avoid examining gay “marriage” if I could, but the gay and lesbian community will not let me.

With seven decades of life under my belt, I have had plenty of time to learn about homosexuality, know homosexuals, and to have arrived at some conclusions about it. My basic conclusion is that homosexuality is hard-wired into an individual at birth. It is not, in my opinion, a lifestyle option one learns about and decides to choose.

Those who discover their homosexuality, early or late, know well that it positions them outside the acceptance of our society and those worldwide. As such, it is a cause of much abuse and, to varying degrees, self-hatred. Continue reading There’s Nothing Gay about Being Gay

July 29, 2010

His Island in the New York Stream

The bus was about to turn into 135th Street from Broadway when all the traffic was stopped by cops working on a movie set. Whatever the shot was going to be it required booms and cameras and trucks being moved back and forth. While we passengers waited patiently I looked out of the window to my left and saw a man sweeping the crosswalk part of what New York calls “malls’, those areas decorated with flowers and shrubbery in the middle of major thoroughfares. At first I thought he was part of the movie. Then I realized he was cleaning his home. Continue reading His Island in the New York Stream

July 25, 2010

Giving back through journalism

Giving back through journalism

 

by Tyree Harris

When people think of giving back to the community, they think sandwich lines, clean-up service, and financial charity.

Though all of these are great and important, there is no better way to give back to your community than with the very talents you are practicing for your career.

Give back with what you do best.

I spent my first week of summer at the Oregon State University campus being journalistically revived by 24 bright-eyed, teenaged writers. For the past three years, I’ve dedicated June 19th through the 27th to the High School Journalism Institute, a joint effort between the Oregonian and Oregon State to promote newsroom diversity. It is, without question, the most cultural journalistic experience possible in Oregon — students in the program are all from underrepresented backgrounds. Continue reading Giving back through journalism

July 23, 2010

Wasting Time

I arose from my tent early and found a mess left in the camp.  The raccoons had found the cooler.  They discovered that our breakfast of eggs could be found inside.  Little hand prints were left as evidence of the burglary.  The broken egg shells and disarray were not enough.  The little marks noted their presence and also their prescience.  They had no doubt watched us putting things away, or just somehow knew that they could find goodies in that box.   I clean up then go about just sitting alone in my woodsy campsite.  The kids are still sleeping, and so are the rest of the adults.  You would think that I would be lonely without the company, but I am not.  The breeze blows by my ears, my hair gently moving.  The chirping of birds and bubbling of running water are comforting; downright relaxing.  It seems that you see so much more when you take the time to just sit, put away your generated thought, and watch the world go by you.  There are so many insects.  Normally, I wouldn’t want them around, but they don’t seem to bother me so much today.  Except for the flies, none are “on” me.  On a boulder in the distance, I see a cardinal.  It flits between rocks and gravel, in search of its’ daily sustenance.  The red bird seems oblivious to anything not crawling on or under the dirt.  He has identified his area of interest and actively pursues his objective.  A few little pecks at the soil, and he flies into a nearby branch.  It becomes obvious that he achieved his goal, a little breakfast du jour.  Maybe a snack of flies would appeal to him?  I suspect that he won’t get that close to me.  At least he has had breakfast… Continue reading Wasting Time

July 21, 2010

Healing Dose of Happiness

So I’m sitting here in Spicewood Texas at a nice little place.  There are plenty of trees, and a magnificent natural swimming hole with waterfalls and springs.  My boss was calling and I didn’t want to talk to him, so I didn’t.  I emailed him instead.  It was a pretty lousy thing to do, but this is my once a year visit with my family, and it is only for a few days.  I love my job, and will go back to working my six or seven days a week soon enough.  There comes a time when you just have to decide what is most important to you.  I chose to enjoy my family.  I’ll deal with the consequences later.  I did leave a few hours early, but I had tended to the needs of the company.  If I had just said nothing, I would have been better off.  I could still do the job by phone, and enjoy the time.  My absence would hardly go noticed.

               So why am I sitting here writing about it?  Because this is a pleasure!  I am surrounded by my loved ones, in a marvelous natural environment, and just enjoying some personal thoughts.  I am sharing a few with you now… because I want to! Continue reading Healing Dose of Happiness

July 6, 2010

The (Black) Hair Thing

My hair is not my shining glory.

Saying that as a black woman conjures up a lot of feelings, jokes and anger. But not for me. Once a young friend chastised me for cutting my hair. She told me everyone was trying to grow some and here I destroying mine. My response was “It’s only hair and it will grow back”. It was something she didn’t understand because for ages black women have wanted the hair they claim God didn’t give them. I know why, I understand why but I think now is the time to get over it. It is time for a major hair change in this country. Continue reading The (Black) Hair Thing

June 30, 2010

Who Suffers When Services are Cut

The New York Transit System, better known as the MTA, cut 36 bus lines and services over the weekend because of the usual money problems. I understand in a week or two they will propose a fare hike. Many will protest but few will do anything about it. These service cuts affect the working  and non-working poor the most. It is just another kick for those who can’t get a break. Continue reading Who Suffers When Services are Cut

June 23, 2010

Bring Back Prohibition!

Bring Back Prohibition!


By Alan Caruba

That’s right. Bring back Prohibition. It was such a success, right? Oh sure, it led to the development of organized crime, everyone ignored it, and it took a Constitutional amendment to get rid of it, but it did save so many from the evils of demon rum—not!

Taxes on things people enjoy are generally called “sin” taxes. They are an easy way to raise revenue and politicians who break most of the Ten Commandments love to impose them. Continue reading Bring Back Prohibition!

June 18, 2010

Auto Draft

It was what Ihad always wanted- to see my name on the cover of a book. To be published. To be in print. If I had a buckete list it would have been on it and now crossed off. It makes me smile to see my dreams in print. Continue reading A Dream in Print

June 10, 2010

Erotic Models, Actors Should Be Allowed to Keep Their Aliases Separate from Their Identities

 

      Erotic Models, Actors Should Be Allowed to Keep Their Aliases Separate from Their Identities

      The privacy of erotic models should be respected by allowing them to keep their aliases as aliases. They are chosen for a reason, and that reason should be given priority over helping other viewers of the erotic imagery the chance to find out their true identity. Apparently, this isn’t considered by many posters on forums, owners of websites, groups, etc.. People who make such discoveries and then share them so that the cover is blown are putting models at great risk, and all such posts should therefore be removed.

      What are some reasons a model may chose an alias and take the privacy she expects it to giver her seriously? (I am referring to male and female models and actors but will use the words “she” and “model.”)

      She may want to work and make money and have a career, make a reputation for herself that could be sabotaged by knowing that people could google her and see photos of her that could wouldn’t fit with her brand, her persona, her workplace propriety. Do we want models to only be models the rest of their lives, or do we want to allow them the freedom to pursue other goals? Continue reading Erotic Models, Actors Should Be Allowed to Keep Their Aliases Separate from Their Identities

June 10, 2010

Snakes and Wellies

This past weekend was beautiful down  in this part of  the  Carolinas. The sun was shinning and  plants are in full bloom. Even the crape myrtles  have begun to show off.

I’m an avid gardener. I love toiling in the soil, planting and waiting with eager anticipation for little seedlings emerge. Just about all of my life I’ve had a garden.  I learned to love gardens and gardening because of my grandmother who planted a garden every spring.  She always planted the same vegetables; yellow squash, waxed and green string beans, cabbage and turnip and collard greens. At the very back of her yard was a grape arbor that she cultivated and pampered so that in the fall she could make her delicious sweet wine. Her front yard, shaded by an enormous maple tree, was lush with shale loving  lily of the valley and variegated hosta plants. Her side yard boasted a variety of red, yellow and pink roses, blue hydrangea, snapdragons and a lilac.  My mother was also a gardener as are all three of my sisters and both of my children so, it’s in the blood. Continue reading Snakes and Wellies

May 18, 2010

Somebody’s Watching You

It used to be that New York was open 24/7/365. But the years have worn the Big Apple to the core and somethings that were once popular to do have changed and gone the way of the dodo. You can still find someplace to find a bite to eat at 4am but the pickings are getting slimmer. Doors at clubs and eateries are watched to keep out undesirables. Some places are so afraid of problems they close early. And while the city boosts a rich cultural diversity there is always the problem that big brother is watching you. We still live in an age of profiling those who are different. Continue reading Somebody’s Watching You

May 17, 2010

Too Much News, Too Much War

Many Saturdays as a young girl I was given the reward of spending the afternoon with my dad at the paper where he was the city editor. It was more than the joy of getting away from younger siblings and the chores being the oldest brought me. It was a place that I got to get the news before anyone else. Before the national news made the paper it came through on the Associated Press machine, a ticking time-bomb in my dad’s office that printed out the news in a flash. I would go there and sit with a pile of paper in my lap that covered everything that was happening in the world. Sometimes I couldn’t believe all the things that were happening, and weren’t getting reported on in a daily black newspaper. In fact sometimes things weren’t reported in any of the local papers at all. It was as if keeping the public in the dark about some news was the best way to keep the country focused on national issues of importance.

Today we have our own buttons to leaking news with computers, instant news and messaging and cell phones that will alert you when a celebrity has a baby or when a celebrity takes a drink. It is news faster than the old AP machines could peck out. It’s too much news that brings us so much information. And a lot of that information is about war. Continue reading Too Much News, Too Much War

May 14, 2010

When your friends can’t explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this

Pick Your Reason   10. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

  9. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the [...]

May 12, 2010

High life shattered by addiction

 

High life shattered by addiction

by Tyree Harris

Jerret Hooey, 22, said he usually slept in until about 1 p.m., but on one night last October he awoke at 4 a.m. by an all too familiar aching: He was fiending for a high.

Hooey made his way to the bathroom with his mind set on heroin.

As his body demanded, he opened a bag of dope and put several little pieces onto tinfoil, lit it and smoked it using a hollow ink pen.

For now, his fixation was suppressed, but the relief was short-lived.

A loud banging on the door began — it was the FBI.

Hastily, Hooey sprinted to his clothes room and grabbed as much of his stash as he could.

If he didn’t get his stuff down the toilet — fast — he would be caught red-handed. Continue reading High life shattered by addiction

May 3, 2010

Watching a Community Develop

They delivered the dirt mulch before the dirt. They delivered them two days apart. It came from a city sponsored program to help the trees that line our block. Two weekends ago I attended a workshop held in the basement community room of one of the co-op apartment buildings on our street to learn how to care for the trees you adopt. We were taught what needed to be done to ensure the beautification of our street and the health of the trees. While most block association meetings have low attendance, this meeting had a great turnout. There were children there interested in helping the environment, people who wanted to make signs to stop pet owners from letting their dogs pee on trees (its kills them, you know) and there were adults there interested in helping the street develop into a community. Continue reading Watching a Community Develop

April 27, 2010

Overdose claims relationship

Overdose claims relationship

By Tyree Harris

After a long afternoon playing board games and talking with 18-year-old Devyn Lorett, her boyfriend of more than two years, she decided it was best if she left his house. It was too difficult for her to be around him; they had been broken up for almost a month.

“I just wanted to tell him how much I missed him, how much I loved him, and that I didn’t want us to be apart anymore,” said Cynthia Wick, 18.

But as much as she wanted to say this, and as right as it felt, Wick knew she couldn’t be with him.

She met Lorett while trying out for a cheerleading squad her freshman year. At first sight, he told her she was beautiful, displayed clear interest and instantly pursued her. Initially, it was to no avail, but Lorett was determined. Though he couldn’t get her attention in person, he managed to track her number down through mutual friends and began texting her.

Wick was thrown off by his inexplicable perseverance. Continue reading Overdose claims relationship

April 23, 2010

A Gift from My Mother- Lessons from Her Generation

My birthday present from my mom arrived yesterday, several days early. Of course I had to open it, there would be no waiting until next week. Mama had been telling me in our daily conversation that she had been creating something for me, and also a gift for my youngest who graduated early from college. Like a five year old I ripped into the box and pulled out a small notebook that had been turned into a book of sayings my mother had found. She had handwritten fifty of them for my daughter, decorated the cover with a beautiful fabric and opposite each saying was a tiny pastel envelope with a dollar bill inside. Then it was my turn to look at my gift and my heart stopped. My very creative mother had taken a painting that I had done when I was sixteen and trying to emulate the art of my father  and that hung in the hallway of their home, a hallway that was like an art gallery, and had it made into note cards. On the back was a sticker that said: Artwork by Minnette Coleman.

What a lovely, personal gift, I thought. Then something else came to mind. My mother didn’t do things like this when we were little. My mother never let her star shine while my father was alive. It was the way of her generation. Continue reading A Gift from My Mother- Lessons from Her Generation

April 22, 2010

Pick any country - and live there

My wife was born in South Africa and is thus a South African citizen – or so you might think.

She certainly was once but not, apparently, any more. She is officially deemed to have lived outside South Africa too long and has had her citizenship withdrawn.

Fortunately she is not stateless. She is a naturalised British Citizen, a status obtained after four years of residency in the UK and reinforced by marriage to a British-born British citizen.

One of her ‘friends’ said she didn’t sympathise in the least with her loss of South African citizenship. She had made her choices.

And, let’s face it, a South African passport is one of the more useless ones on this earth. When we got married, the only country in the world which would accept a South African citizen without requiring a visa was Ecuador. We went on our honeymoon to Ecuador.

Maybe all this is unremarkable, but it does raise issues as to what citizenship really means and as to where it is headed. Continue reading Pick any country – and live there

April 21, 2010

A Writer's Life for Me

Somebody else must clean the house. They must for I no longer want it to be my job. I don’t have time to worry about the daily trivialities of running a home. Besides the children are grown, one of them is in her own place and the other one cooks like a chef although cleaning is not something she does well. I have lost track of what it is I am supposed to do at home besides the one thing I do all day and into the night. I write. That’s what my life  right now is all about. Writing. Continue reading A Writer’s Life for Me

April 6, 2010

STROKES SUCK

Several months ago I woke up feeling odd (not strange for me). Got out of bed, took the old good morning pee, moved down the hall following the smell of coffee and then had to grab a gaudy table halfway down the hall to keep from falling.  Not normal but what the hell. I [...]

April 5, 2010

Everybody is a Star!

I was asked what I did for a living. At the time I was in an off-off- Broadway show on The Ridiculous Theatrical Company. The theatre had a following in the gay world but was very popular in the theatrical circles. My picture and positive review made Theatre World Magazine and I got pats on the backs from actor friends. I was an actress. But when I replied to the what did I do for a living questions with “I’m an actress” I got: “Really? What movies have you been in? Are you some kind of star?” Continue reading Everybody is a Star!

April 3, 2010

Drinking and smoking? Cool, it's just not for me.

Drinking and smoking? Cool, it’s just not for me.

by Tyree Harris

I’ve never been drunk in my life. I’ve never been high in my life. My whole existence on this campus has been drug-free. Weird, I know, coming from a college student (which can be considered synonymous with intoxicated), but this lifestyle has made my college career very interesting.

Think of it this way — all of those crazy nights you don’t remember, I do, and they always remind me why I don’t drink.

One night, I was at a friend’s house, and we heard a huge commotion going on outside. Curiously, we all sprinted to the door to see what it was, and we knew by the anthill-like conglomeration that somebody in that crowd was about to brawl.

A guy walked up to the porch we were on, and he told us how it all started when two guys came into his house party and stole a bag of Captain Crunch from the kitchen. A mob of pissed-off people chased them down, ready to beat them up — over a bag of cereal.

We laughed for hours. Continue reading Drinking and smoking? Cool, it’s just not for me.

March 26, 2010

Smokey Sleepovers - looking for advice!

I find myself in a quandary and am hoping for advice.

I would say that overall, I am a very relaxed sort of mom. We live in a very remote area, so when my kids have friends over, they often stay overnight. And of course, my girls stay in other children’s homes as well.  It’s something we didn’t do much of when we lived close to our neighbours, but here, where everything is at least a ten minute drive away, it is the norm. We have all relaxed into the routine, and have gotten to know the kids around here very well. It’s been an educational experience, and a fun one.

We live in an area in which it is not uncommon to drive past a mansion, then drive past a neighbouring trailer decorated with rabbit ear antenna. We have people who work in offices, people who fish for a living, artists and writers, and lots of retired folk. A pot pourri of incomes, if you will. It makes for even more education on my side, since I grew up in a position of financial comfort. Continue reading Smokey Sleepovers – looking for advice!

March 24, 2010

Weighing in on childhood obesity

Childhood obesity begins in adulthood. At first blush, that makes as much sense as the bumper sticker that proclaims, “Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.” Of course, that placard is humorous; the wellbeing of society is anything but. The unvarnished truth is when we get down to brass tacks, children to not become obese by choice, but rather by the (in)action of adults. [...]

March 12, 2010

The Man on the Horse- Do We Care How He Smells?

To be honest I like the latest, hottest commercial on television because it is funny, not because the man selling the product is good looking from head to toe and has a voice that could whisper in my ear anytime. The sensuality is a plus. But it is a good commercial, it’s a funny commercial and the actor went so over the top that he created a character that has 2 millions views on YouTube.

And he’s on a horse. Continue reading The Man on the Horse- Do We Care How He Smells?

March 11, 2010

Divorce Has No Age Limit

Kristen Houghton, author and Lifestyle Writer

At the end of my couples seminar the woman who had organized the workshops approached me. After telling me how much she had enjoyed all the workshops presented that day, she said,

“There’s something that is never included in these workshops, though. No one ever discusses the divorce rate of couples over a certain age. I think you might have a good topic here for a future seminar.”

She went on to tell me that she was sixty-two and recently had filed for divorce. The marriage had lasted forty years. When I showed surprise at the fact that after that amount of time, she felt divorce was necessary, she laughed and said,

“It’s happening more and more. People still have a lot of life to live and forty years goes by like nothing.” Continue reading Divorce Has No Age Limit

March 2, 2010

A Celibate Marriage: the pain and unhappiness in an era when sex sells

“We are living in a time when it seems as if sex is used to sell everything. From laundry detergent to pancakes, from make-up to hair dye, sex sells. We are inundated with it.”

I was doing a seminar on Sex, Love, and Marriage. During a break a well-dressed, pretty but nervous woman came up to talk to me. She asked if I had ever encountered a person who was living in a celibate marriage.

“I don’t mean not having sex for long stretches of time because of certain problems that can be resolved. I mean never having sex, sleeping together in a bed but not being intimate for years.”

I nodded my head; I had heard about it. She was talking about a celibate marriage.

We see intimacy on daytime programming, loving couples in commercials, and nighttime shows filled with happy people either in the midst of, finishing, or seriously about to have, sexual relations. Sex sells because it is a part of our minds, our egos and our physical needs. Most people not only need it they want it. This is especially true in a marriage, where one of the great joys of being with the person you have chosen to spend your life with should be sexual intimacy. The harsh reality is of married sex is different from what we believe. 1 in 20 couples live their married lives in a marriage that lacks sex. Continue reading A Celibate Marriage: the pain and unhappiness in an era when sex sells

February 22, 2010

Bus Story- Do You Want to Get On or Under the Bus?

This morning I had one of those weird things happen where a person speaks on a subject and then later it unfolds as if prophesized. I smiled at the man at the bus as he told the young lady to get out of the street before a bus or a car came and slid on the muck left over from the street cleaning vehicle. He then turned to me and explained that he had seen people hit by cars while standing in the street looking for taxis and buses. He told me: “I stand back away from the curb. It is safe.” The young lady ignored him as most young people do when wisdom is offered, un-asked for from a senior person. Perhaps had she been on the bus with me later she would have understood what he meant. Continue reading Bus Story- Do You Want to Get On or Under the Bus?

February 21, 2010

China Impression (Chapter one: Differences Among Cities)

China Impression

Chapter One: Differences Among Cities

This Chinese New Year Season,something did surprise me.

As a rule, every year this time, I must make the trip to the hometown of my wife, where her father still lives in. What astonished me is that I could not find anybody smoke in the bus! Just [...]

February 17, 2010

Things People do on the Bus

 Each morning I become privy to the things people do to keep themselves busy on the bus. While most of the elderly just look out the window as if glad to be alive, the rest of the passengers seem to believe that they must keep busy in order to pass the time before they get off. Over the years I have compiled a list of things I have seen people do on the bus (and sometimes the subway). Thought I’d share it. Continue reading Things People do on the Bus

February 16, 2010

Life Should be Driven by Passion

At one a.m. I was editing chapters of a book that I have written and re-written in hopes that the agent who asked to see it could get it published. In seven hours I had to leave for an early morning office meeting and hoped that I wouldn’t slip into a nod and drift off into my characters instead of paying attention. The job paid the bills but the writing filled my life. And even though two weeks later I got a response from the agent that she didn’t actually ‘love’ the book I was not in total mourning. My life would not be driven by what she wanted or what she thought. It would be driven by my passion to write. And a life driven by passion is one hell of a life.

Most mornings I hate going to work. I think I could sta Continue reading Life Should be Driven by Passion

February 15, 2010

Jesus Was A Jew

 

Jesus was a Jew. He spoke the Jewish language, lived the Jewish life, and was very active in the Jewish community. Jesus studied and learned the Old Testament in His growing years, as well as celebrated the Jewish feasts and festivals. It makes sense that Jesus would use the culture, language, and traditions He was surrounded by, to send His new covenant message to the world throughout the ages. This is why it is vital, we as Christians, understand the full impact of His Jewish involvement. It should also be understood that the Jewish culture today is not the same culture of Jesus’ day. This is the reason we must study the complete context of the New Testament. The Jewish community has a way of understanding and interpreting scriptures Christians have not fully embraced. Understanding Jesus’ Jewish life reveals the fullness of His saving grace. He doesn’t want us to miss one syllable of His promise. Continue reading Jesus Was A Jew

February 13, 2010

The SWI Question of the Day (02-13-10)

What do you think of Body Piercing, Tattoos, and Branding?

We welcome your thoughts and comments.

February 10, 2010

The SWI Question of the Day (2-10-10)

Should Homelessness concern you/us?

We welcome your thoughts and comments.

February 8, 2010

How to get your child through school successfully - a parents guide

Chapter 7 – Dealing with Schools

For most of us dealing with the teachers and administration at our child’s school can be a difficult process.  Many of us approach this important task with needless trepidation or false conceptions.

We were once students ourselves and may have built up a habit of obeying or even expecting punishment or derision from teachers and administrators.

This is a non productive attitude for parents.  Teachers are not gods, many of them are hardly even human.  Before engaging in any discourse with your child’s teacher, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Did this person find teaching as a calling in kindergarten, dedicating the rest of their lives to the education of children?  Or was this the only job they could find after graduating with a useless degree in Grecian philosophy?
  2. Is this person a master educator or a product of “if you can’t do, teach.”
  3. Does this slimy wanker think they’re in charge?  Or do they recognize that theirs is to serve in a difficult task as best they can.  Parents, always ask yourself, are they “the boss of me?Continue reading How to get your child through school successfully – a parents guide

February 1, 2010

The SWI Question of the Day (2-1-10)

Should there be a ban on smoking – if so – in what places or areas?

We welcome your thoughts and comments.

January 30, 2010

The SWI Question of the Day (1-30-10)

Do you think their will be a cure for HIV/Aids?  What should – or could – be done to prevent it?

We welcome your thoughts and comments.

January 22, 2010

The SWI Question of the Day (1-21-10)

There have been many publicized cases of infidelity in marriages and relationships.  A defense that is sometimes used is Sex Addition.  Is this a real addiction or a rationalization/excuse when the participating parties get caught?  What are your thoughts?

January 17, 2010

Sharing the Love

The weekend is almost over. I have been editing for a few hours while my husband and friends, female as well as male, lock horns over a football game. Sports has never been my passion but I sat in the living room with them after dinner to share in what was important, our friendship. Two cups of rum punch that has been fermenting  since December 23rd  later I am ready to be alone with my thoughts. Thoughts that fall onto the computer keyboard like liquid love. It is something we do a lot in this house- share the love with those passing through. Continue reading Sharing the Love

December 22, 2009

The Thing About Being Happy

Happiness used to be contagious. It used to create a spark in the people you passed if you smiled and were giving off rays of pure joy. Those whose paths you crossed would smile back and spread the joy to the next person they met. Your uncontrolled glee created a domino effect that could only be stopped by some curmudgeon who lived on the edge of doom.  You felt you did the world a great service when you smiled.

Lately people act say there is less to be joyous about. People ask why should we be happy with so much trouble brewing around us? The economy, the poverty, and the war- what is there to be happy about? I tell them it’s the little things you have to look for that make life worth enjoying. You actually don’t have to look, they are already there. The problem is most of us are so busy looking for the big payoff we forget the little things that can take us through each day. Continue reading The Thing About Being Happy

December 20, 2009

Taking The First Step

My daughter Elizabeth and I attended an open house at the college she decided to attend. The dean spoke to the students and posed this riddle to them. “Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. Question: How many are left?” We looked at each other thinking – duh – that’s pretty obvious, there’s only one left – but here is what he said. [...]

December 11, 2009

Christmas 1947

Christmas 1947-Alabama (Not so much unlike Christmas 2009–Alabama—same heart–same spirit)

By Angela Posey-Arnold

“What are you getting for Christmas this year, Jimmy? I think I’m getting a record player. I picked one out at Elmore’s.” Bonnie said to her friend and classmate at lunch.

Jimmy swallowed the last bite of apple, “A record player? That will be neat. I’m hoping to get the .22 Winchester I asked for. I need it for hunting. I think I will get it”.

“I can’t wait for the class Christmas party tomorrow. The best thing is being out of Haleyville Junior High School for the Christmas Holidays. Mother made some cookies for our eighth grade party. Oh, by the way, we want you to go with us to town this afternoon. And stay with us for the Tree Decorating Downtown tonight. Can you go if my Mom picks you up?” Jimmy asked. Continue reading Christmas 1947

December 10, 2009

Totally Gross: The Gross Food Movement

Looking for something to help wind down at the end of a hard day clogging your arteries with Monster Pies? How about the McNuggetini? This festive drink (?) consists of a chocolate milkshake mixed with vodka, rimmed with barbecue sauce, and garnished with half a chicken nugget. “Hey bar-keep! Gimme a double will ya?” [...]

December 6, 2009

Bad Habits of Others

Bad Habits of Others

by Bob Grant

 

Bad habits of others get under your skin,

The list is quite long so let me begin.

Grinding the teeth or picking the nose,

Chewing that gum or painting ones toes.

Tapping that pencil or sucking of gums,

Breaking that wind or licking of thumbs.

Belching [...]

December 2, 2009

Moving Forward with the Fantasy of Life

This time last year I was swimming in Christmas presents that I had purchased for my family and a few friends. I hadn’t spent that much since I am a careful shopper but I had more funds to do as I pleased. This year there is less money to spend all around and I am not halfway through my list. I am not disturbed by this change, I accept it as a challenge. You see I am eagerly awaiting the new because life moves on even when we don’t want it to. Continue reading Moving Forward with the Fantasy of Life

November 27, 2009

Health care debate and personal choices

Quoting Cassius, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves…” It’s easy to pronounce and pontificate about what “they” should do, it’s quite another little something to step to the platform, roll up our sleeves, and actually take action. Irrespective of legislation regarding “single payer” or “pre-existing conditions,” we must each make a difference in our own lives by establishing good health as a higher priority in day-to-day decisions. [...]

November 19, 2009

The Coolest Job

Like most artists I would prefer making a living from my art. For the majority of us that never happens and we have to make do with professions outside of the creative. Sometimes we get lucky and land a job we enjoy. Sometimes we land a position that is beyond rewarding. I know I am one of the lucky ones since I get to play Santa 52 weeks a year. Continue reading The Coolest Job

November 17, 2009

If Not in YOur Neighborhood Then Where?

 

There is a sewage treatment plant in Harlem located under a state park. When David Dinkins was Mayor the project was supposed to be built in a different area, somewhere downtown near West 72nd St. Those is that area got together and rallied against putting it in their neighborhood. As if by divine intervention a few years later they got blocked from the sun and the view of the Hudson by large condo buildings by Donald Trump. The measure to get the plant in Harlem passed before most of the residents knew it even existed. Once again what the people with money didn’t want in their neighborhoods the poor got in theirs. It wasn’t enough to put people in office who would look out for your interest, you had to be able to show them all your aces. And those aces were big bucks. Those with money are learning you can’t hide everything in the ghetto. So where do we put undesirables? And when are people in the most middle class American neighborhoods going to understand they have to share the responsibility of taking care of this land? Continue reading If Not in Your Neighborhood Then Where?

November 16, 2009

The Truth About Harlem

As a college student eager to explore the world outside the South I spent many winter breaks in New York City. My first was with my roommate Kaye who lived in Queens. I got to see a few of the sights and only visited Harlem once when we went to dinner at Copeland’s Restaurant on 145th St. The winters after that were more about expanding my horizons in the great city and making trips to Harlem, a place ravaged by poverty and violence of the turbulent ‘60s. Over the years things have changed but even with the explosion called gentrification something about Harlem remains the same. Continue reading The Truth About Harlem

November 8, 2009

Sex in the Music, A Review

When the caller told Clint Eastwood’s character to “Play Misty for me” in the movie of the same name the audience knew what she was about. ‘ty’ as sung by the likes of the great Billy Eckstein’s deep sensual voice was one of those songs were the lyrics as well as the timing suggested having sex. While some of us write about it in prose there are countless others that put the act to music . Where sex sells best it sells more often in song. Continue reading Sex in the Music, A Review

October 29, 2009

The Ridiculous side of life

Nancy Pofahl

The Ridiculous Side of Shop Till You Drop

Nancy Pofahl

The holiday gift giving season will be soon upon us. Hurrah! I love it!

Decorating trees with lights that don’t work. Wrapping gifts with gift wrap that tears immediately after being taped to the gift. But most of all, I love the SHOPPING!

Ok, maybe ‘love’ is too strong a word. How about ‘grudgingly accept’?

My preferred way of shopping is through the internet. Being disabled, this allows me to shop without tripping people with my cane or running them over with my mobility scooter. Did I mention I can’t see very well?  Many an angry mob have chased me through shopping malls throwing hangers, shoes and sales clerks at me. That’s another column altogether.

Shopping with my daughter, Erika is an experience unto itself. She will try on every piece of clothing in any given store, all in the hopes of finding that magical garment that looks just right.  I have to stop her when she starts grabbing baby rompers.

 My daughter is a beautiful woman. I’m biased, of course, but she would look good in the sales bag. She has the body for clothes. Tall and proportionate with curves. I have the body for sleeping bags with the bottom cut out. Hey, don’t laugh! I hear this year’s winter assortment is quite nice. Continue reading The Ridiculous side of life

October 26, 2009

Government List of Things that Could Kill You

Government List of Things that Could Kill You

By Alan Caruba

With the presidential announcement that H1N1, the “swine” flu, is now officially a national emergency, plus reports out of the CDC that not enough vaccine is available, I thought it might be helpful to provide a list of things that the government says could kill you.

Right up there at the top is, of course, (1) global warming. President Obama and Al Gore says the entire planet is going to resemble a toasted marshmallow at a Boy Scout jamboree if we all don’t stop driving cars, manufacturing things, generating and using electricity, et cetera. And that goes for you, too, China and India!

Next is (2) smoking. It is an incontrovertible fact that everyone in the graveyard nearest to you who ever smoked is dead. The government, which used to make a lot of money from tobacco taxes, is dead set—no pun intended—against anyone smoking. This used to be a matter of personal choice, but now it will get you thrown out of arenas, restaurants, offices of all descriptions, and just about every other public place. Those who insist on still smoking are going to die. At some point.

Another thing that will kill you is (3) guns. It is a matter of complete consternation that the 90 million or so gun-owners in America are not all dead! The government wants to take away their guns in order to protect them from shooting themselves, their family members, and possibly someone trying to break into their home or apartment. Apparently criminals have not paid sufficient attention to government warnings and insist on using guns, whenever possible, in robberies and drug deals gone bad. Continue reading Government List of Things that Could Kill You

October 21, 2009

Afterthoughts on the Afterlife

Long before today, the first year anniversary of my father’s death, I contemplated what happens when we die. My thoughts weren’t just about going to the light or about resting in peace. I wondered how you prepare yourself when you know your time has come.

When the call came that my father had been admitted to a hospice and they didn’t give him more than 24 hours to live I dropped everything and headed for Atlanta. My father hung on for seven days in which he was surrounded by family, friends and a spiritual advisor my dad used to call “Fatboy”. Continue reading Afterthoughts on the Afterlife

October 20, 2009

Giving Thanks

America’s first national Thanksgiving occurred in 1789. According to the Congressional Record for September 25th of that year, this was the first act of the Framers after completing the Bill of Rights: Elias Boudinot said he could not think of letting the session pass without offering an opportunity to all the citizens of the United States of joining with one voice in returning to Almighty God their sincere thanks for the many blessings He had poured down upon them. [...]

October 20, 2009

Street Story: A One and Only Love

The music came from a place I couldn’t see. Had I been a contestant on that old show “Name That Tune” I would have been a winner in less than five notes. A trumpet somewhere on the upper Westside of Manhattan was beautifully playing “My One and Only Love”. It was a pleasant distraction from the loud music emanating from passing cars. I have nothing against rap or salsa but I get enough of it in my daily diet further uptown. I tried to determine where the sweet notes were coming from but couldn’t so I just enjoyed them as I went about my shopping. Coltrane danced in my head as I remembered his version with Johnny Hartman and once again I was watching my parents and their friends sipping bourbon and cokes, the air filled with cigarette that they knew wouldn’t harm them or the children. A nice warm memory for a slightly cold day. Continue reading Street Story: A One and Only Love

October 18, 2009

The Ridiculous Side Of Life

The Ridiculous Side Of A Pet Owning You

Nancy Pofahl

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I have a cat. Or should I say, my cat has me. I am a slave to her turn-on-a-dime mood swings and iron will and insatiable but picky appetite. She is the family cat, but I am her mother. I have been her mommy ever since she crawled into my purse sixteen years ago at a pet store. She was to be a gift for my daughter, who had just returned from the hospital after a serious illness. She was cute and soft with tiny little nails that were too soft as yet to be any danger to furniture and flesh. She had this soft little meow that you could barely hear and big green eyes that looked so innocent. After buying about $10,000 worth of kitty things that I was assured that she would need by the clerk, we loaded up the car and headed home to a life of bliss with our new little addition.

The few hours went pretty well with my husband and kids holding and playing with the kitty while I set up her little litter box that she could barely crawl into. My daughter named her Amanda. Bedtime came, and after standing up to the kids arguing about who gets to sleep with the kitty, and we took her over to her small kitty bed all set up for her in the corner of my bedroom. I tucked her in with a warm blanket. Her water and food dish as well as her litter box were just outside the door and in easy reach for her. Continue reading The Ridiculous Side Of Life

October 13, 2009

The Chapel Girls

My first day of Catholic high school I met Mary and Jessica (names changed) and we became fast friends.  They were very religious girls who had attended the other all black Catholic grade school in Atlanta all the way across town. Each morning we met on the bus and walked together, our books clinched to our excited young chests and the half mile to the school from the stop. Once there we were joined by Lena, the smartest girl in my class in grade school and an outcast simply because of her intellect. She was cute and perky but when she opened her mouth no boy wanted to date her. I was feeling the strain of loneliness because I wrote poetry and devoured books whenever I could. I had just started caring about the opposite sex so if there was ever a group of female nerds it had to be us. We had no boyfriends or the hopes of having any.

Continue reading The Chapel Girls

October 11, 2009

When You See Life as a Series of Moments in Time You Can Create More Positive Moments.

 

HOW I LEARNED THE PHILOSOPHY THAT LIFE IS A SERIES OF MOMENTS IN TIME.

Many years ago when I was struggling with the death and dying of my Dad our Family was blessed with a priest who would come to visit us often. Father York, a Catholic Priest, and my Dad was close friends even though my Dad was Jewish. Their paths crossed because our Mom was Catholic and my parents decided to raise their children Catholic. My sister, and I went to Catholic School and Church with our Mom. Fr. York and my Dad’s paths crossed because my Dad fixed the school buses, nuns and priests cars free of charge. Popkin’s Auto and Truck Repair was his privately owned and operated business. My parents believed in the “Law of Comeback” and gave freely of their time and talents. They practice this belief and taught their children that when you give freely of your time, talent or money you don’t expect it to be repaid by the person you have freely given to but the universe would provide for you in your time of need. Now during my Dad’s time of need Fr. York gave freely of his Spiritual talents to aid my Dad and me through the process of death and dying. Continue reading When You See Life as a Series of Moments in Time You Can Create More Positive Moments.

October 7, 2009

I am outraged

People, please, can we take a breath? Let’s slow down long enough to step back from the brink and move distant from the precipice of righteous anger. Let’s put the “go-ahead-cross-this-line” bravado on the back burner long enough to hear what someone has to say before we puff up, poke our finger in his chest, and give him the piece of mind we think he deserves? [...]

October 7, 2009

Curing Depression

Happy Relationships Home Page

Carl Jung

Carl Jung

Now here is another brain teaser for your therapist, or should I say mind teaser, the notion of curing someone with depression. Sadly, this is one of the most common causes of problems in marriages, and while we look for help from the professionals they take advantage of that vulnerability with a platform that doesn’t get to the root causes of depression. All the while, we spend about $12 billion a year on therapy and $15 billion on pharmacology drugs to treat “mental illnesses”, particularly depression.

I even find it hilarious that there is an ad on TV promoting a drug called Abilify that begins by stating that 2/3rds of people suffering from depression still have depression symptoms after taking traditional “medicine”, in essence admitting the inability of the medical approach to curing people. After all, our “mental illnesses” are biologically based, hence the medical approach to a “cure”, and there is really nothing that can be done mentally.

But there was a psychologist who actually did cure people, the one-time heir apparent to Freud by the name of Carl Jung. I refer to Jung as the greatest psychologist who ever lived basically because of the fact that his objective was to cure his patients.

Let me relate to you one of his patients whom he did cure, a patient suffering from depression. Ironically, the professionals of his day actually diagnosed her with Schizophrenia. Boy I can imagine the response from the professionals if I would have titled this post “Curing Schizophrenia”, because as most people realize after 100 years of propagating the biology conclusion, Schizophrenia is incurable. Continue reading Curing Depression

September 29, 2009

The Best Present of All

Broken down to the most basic component – your life is simply a series of moments. Each one is precious. Some may be more exciting or memorable than others, but each one is important and brings you to the next…and the next. Each is a gift, a present, crafted specifically for you and comes directly from the hand of God! If some famous person gave you a valuable gift of some kind, you’d protect, admire and appreciate it constantly. How much more should we do that with today’s moments? [...]

September 23, 2009

Inner Quiet

The negative effects environmental noise has on your health including hearing loss, increased risk of heart disease, high blood pressure and increased appetite leading to weight gain are no secret. What I want to focus on today is quieting the inner noise, which is just as destructive to true health. “Internal noise” or the constant stream of self-talk that runs through your mind can greatly impact your health as well. [...]

September 23, 2009

Refocus

Much like reframing an old picture can give it new life, so can reframing the situations that cause us stress. According to Dr. Don Colbert, author of The Seven Pillars of Health, the term “reframing” means learning to see the past, present and future in a positive light. [...]

September 21, 2009

Prayer – Basic Mind-Body Therapy!

Did you know, prayer is the most basic mind-body therapy known to man? In fact, even though some experts are only realizing how important your spirit is to your physical health now, Hippocrates, the father of medicine, believed that the moral and spiritual aspects of a person’s life affected their health. [...]

September 21, 2009

Breathe!

You take between 18 and 26,000 breaths every day! You require 88 lbs. of oxygen daily – it is the most critical chemical in your body. Your brain alone requires 25% of the oxygen you take in. Breathing is the only bodily function which can be done either consciously or unconsciously. The average person uses only twenty percent of their lung capacity. Increasing oxygen content in all the cells of the body can produce dramatic changes in general health and mood. [...]

September 21, 2009

Let There Be…Quiet!

We are so used to being surrounded by sound some of us cannot stand to be without some type of noise – whether it’s the television or radio in the background, a CD or static and nature sounds from a “white noise” machine. If you pay attention, you’ll find there are very few (if any) places where you escape intentional sound – stores, doctor/dentist offices, restaurants, gas stations, public rest rooms – they all seem to have music piped in. [...]

September 18, 2009

Curing Alcoholism

Happy Relationships Home Page
Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage

Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage

If you would like to get your therapist’s head spinning ask him or her what it means to be cured and watch as your therapist struggles to answer that question.  The unfortunate reality is the psychology industry, with its biological foundation, has not yet defined what it means to be mentally cured.  What makes this notion even more amazing, is the rest of us as a society knows the answer to this question, to be happy with yourself.  To clarify, though, individual happiness has nothing to do with the level of wealth or looks, but is an internal quality where the individual finds balance in his or her perception of self against the backdrop of the rest of society.

I wanted to discuss one psychological problem to demonstrate my point, the notion of alcoholism.  Modern medical definitions describe alcoholism as a diseaseand addiction which results in a persistent use of alcohol despite negative consequences.  The Journal of the American Medical Association defines alcoholism as “a primary, chronic disease characterized by impaired control over drinking, preoccupation with the drug alcohol, use of alcohol despite adverse consequences, and distortions in thinking.”  According to Wikipedia it is estimated that 9% of the general population is predisposed to alcoholism based on genetic factors.

In other words, alcoholism is defined as a biological disease defined by the genetic makeup of the individual.  Alcoholics Anonymous’ basic text, known as the “Big Book,” describes alcoholism as an illness that involves a physical allergy and a mental obsession.  And of course the mental obsession occurs because of the biological makeup of the brain.  Because of this definition there is no attempt on the professionals part to “cure” the alcoholic.  In fact, the 12-step program in AA basically teaches people that they have a disease and must give their lives up to God to manage their disease, despite the fact that the fourth step involves clarifying those experiences from the past that have caused the mental problems in the first place, in what is called the “moral inventory”. Continue reading Curing Alcoholism

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