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August 24, 2010
Research has actually proven that humans are “hard-wired” to assume things will go cattywumpus rather than not. Given the opportunity to attribute a random event to either good new or bad, we will usually assume the road has more potholes than flat patches. [...]
August 24, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Accountability, Advice, African-American, Attitude, Biography & Memoir, Book Marketing Online, Book Review, Books, Business, Business Management, Cancer, Cap and Trade, Children, China, Climate Change, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Communications, Communism, Community, Computers, Congress, Contributor's Audio/Video, Creative Writing, Current Events, Democracy, Democrat, Diet, Economic Crisis, Economics, Education, Energy, Entertainment, Environment, Environmental Issues, Faith, Family, Fiction, Finance, Foreign Affairs, Foreign Relations, Freedom, Freelance Author, General Topics, Geopolitical Events, Global Warming, Governance, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Healthcare, Heroes, History, Homeland Security, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Internet, Internet Advice, Interview, Islam, Journalism, Latino & Hispanic, Legal, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Literature, Marketing, Marriage, Medical, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Mexico, Military, Minorities, Morality, Motivation, Music, Native American, Nature/Wildlife, Non-Fiction, Nutrition, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Philosophical Genres, Poetry, Politics, Publishing, Question of the Day, Recovery, Relationships, Religion, Republican, Rhyme, Satire, Self-Help, Sex, Short Stories, Social Aspects, Social Classes, Social Issues, Sociology, Spirituality, Sports, Technology, Television, Terrorism, The Economy, The Media, The Pundit's Corner, The Writer's Corner, Travel, Uncategorized, Website Instructions, Weight loss, Wellness, Women's Perspective, Women's Rights, Working Women, Workplace, World Issues, Writing Essentials
Begun back sometime in 2001, this book was originally a fluke of an idea… [...]
August 21, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Book Marketing Online, Book Review, Books, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, Humor, Non-Fiction, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized, Writing Essentials
Announcing my two newest releases:
 Book Cover
Description: Bill can’t find a writing space to save his wilting life. While in Canada, Sam learns to “go convert” himself; back in the States, mum and dad are playing hide the Azalea, Delores can’t keep her father’s arse covered to get any work done, a pack of wild Kens are hurtling toward the atmosphere, and dad is sitting in his car picking his ears with his keys. Often compared to Sedaris (mostly by herself), this collection will make you sick…with laughter.
Original cover artwork by me.
August 16, 2010
My favorite season is quickly drawing to an end. I live for summer. I relish my visits to the beach, the only place to get the best nature pedicure. The sand and the surf does wonders to one’s feet, all you need is a day at the beach and a bottle of nail polish. We grill almost daily; spend weekend evenings on the deck with bottle of wine, some Bruschetta made with the tomatoes and basil we’ve grown shared with good friends and family as we sit watching lake activities. Because this summer has been so memorably hot I haven’t been able to enjoy all the things I like about the warmest of the four seasons.
When it came time to plan and plant the garden last March I thought I would refrain this year. I didn’t think I was up for all the tilling and planting necessary for a vegetable garden that was until I went to the grocery store and stared in amazement at the price of tomatoes. So, by mid spring my husband and I decided that we would plant a summer garden after all. Continue reading A Few Determined Eggplants and I’m Debating
August 14, 2010

Whether or not you’ve ever wanted to be, tried to be, or been hip, cool or “in”, read K. J. Rigby’s “Little Guide to Unhip”. It’s a frolic through all the silliness that “hip”, “cool” and “in” mean in every generation. Have fun with this book. It’ll give you a lot of chuckles and some real belly laughs. Continue reading “Little Guide to Unhip”, by K. J. Rigby
August 8, 2010

George Fripley’s How to Polish a Turd (subtitle: “A Civil Servant’s Manual”) kept me laughing all the way through. If you’ve ever worked for a bureaucracy, dealt with one or know someone who has done either, you know how maddening the experience can be. And how maddeningly amusing. I found myself nodding my head and coming up with my own examples throughout the book, as I’m sure you will when you read it.
The secret to dealing with and working for a bureaucracy is to learn the system and to learn how to work with it without losing your mind or your soul. The best thing is to not lose either, but that’s more difficult … and perhaps impossible. But if you want to give it a go, George Fripley’s manual is the book for you to read. And carry your much dog-eared and tattered copy with you every day on your way to and from work so you can consult it. Continue reading How to Work For (and live with) a Bureaucracy Without Going Mad
July 21, 2010
The modern politician seems far too caught up in the hurly-burly of the 24-hour news cycle to devote any attention to more productive pursuits. This was not always so and there is an argument that politicians may be more productive and useful if they re-engaged with their inner selves. One such example of this is the art of government poetry which, over the years, has largely been forgotten or overlooked. However, the indisputable fact is that the work of the long-lost government poets is still relevant today. [...]
June 11, 2010
Have we lost our ability to laugh at ourselves? [...]
June 9, 2010
Advice for living from my best friend.
The world is your couch. Relax.
Make friends and surround yourself with them.
Scratch when you itch.
There is no substitute for being cute.
Be loyal and your friends and they will never desert you.
There is no ailment that a good poop won’t help relieve.
Don’t piddle on the path. Continue reading The Tao of Amigo
May 14, 2010
Posted by seamus in: Accountability, Advice, Attitude, Business, Cap and Trade, Commentary, Communications, Congress, Creative Writing, Current Events, Democrat, Economics, Entertainment, Finance, Freedom, General Topics, Geopolitical Events, Governance, Homeland Security, Humor, Journalism, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Literature, Minorities, Morality, Motivation, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Politics, Recovery, Republican, Satire, Self-Help, Social Aspects, Social Issues, Sociology, Terrorism, The Economy, The Media, The Pundit's Corner, Women's Rights, Working Women, World Issues
Pick Your Reason 10. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.
9. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the [...]
April 12, 2010
Posted by timbryce in: Humor
There’s a rat in the traffic department. [...]
April 6, 2010
Though many people feel safe falling asleep on the subway I don’t. An actress friend of mine fell asleep and woke up to find the shopping bag she thought was securely snug between her knees with all her make-up gone. And then there was the time another friend woke to a fin a stranger staring at her affectionately as he rubbed her hand. People nearby said nothing and acted like they saw nothing. That’s what usually happens on the subway. But nothing beats what I saw one night on my way home from performing. It is a lesson for visitors and citizens as well to keep their mouths closed. Literally. Continue reading Subway Story- Midnight Kiss
April 2, 2010
Posted by timbryce in: Humor
A little law enforcement humor. [...]
March 29, 2010
“What’s the deal with boobs?” she asked me quite frankly.
“What is it about them that men like so much?
“Well…” I replied, “They’re really quite nice.
They’re smooth and soft and lovely to touch.
Continue reading What’s the Deal?
March 11, 2010
Dear President Obama,

Hey, it’s Brandon again.
I recently read that you are inviting Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg to The White House to view the new HBO series The Pacific. I think that’s great. It’s very honorable that you are respecting these men who are chronicling the efforts of our uniformed men and women. I just have one favor to ask you sir: invite me.
That’s right. Me, Brandon Marcus. Let me join in on this screening. Now, I know that you and I have never met but we run in similar circles. For example, you run the largest modern civilization on Earth. And I am currently downloading Sid Meier’s Civilization IV. You are the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize and I am the three-time recipient of the Attendance Award at Alice Birney Elementary.
Also, we’re Facebook friends.
So we’d probably get along just fine. And I like that Joe Biden guy. I like the cut of his jib and the way he wears his hat. I’m sure we’d have some killer conversations before the movie. Continue reading An Open Letter to President Obama
March 10, 2010
My family and I just returned from a fantastic holiday. As soon as I got home I started looking for my countless lists of Things To Do. But that inevitably lead to Things to Avoid. So I have decided to compile lists of Things on Vacation. WAY more fun, and, I am sure, very educational. [...]
February 26, 2010
At what point does comedy become hate speech? How free is free speech? Do we still have lines that comedians and other entertainers can’t cross?
 Comedian Guy Earle
Canadian comedian Guy Earle is dealing with all these questions lately. Earle is being taken to the British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal to face charges of hateful speech. The claim stems from an altercation Earle had with a couple of hecklers back in 2007. The women (one of whom is Lorna Pardy, the filer of the compaint) were in the front row of the club and allegedly insulted and heckled Earle as he tried to host an open mic night. After several back-and-forths between the comedian and the women, Earle unleashed what he admits was a pretty hurtful and offensive tirade.
Choice remarks from said tirade: “Come on, you’re fat and ugly — you’re not even lesbian”. Zing! He followed that up with some tasteful bits about oral sex and sex toys. Hold your applause until the end, ladies and gentlemen.
The night escalated after that, ending with Pardy tossing a drink in Earle’s face and the comedian breaking her sunglasses. So, all in all, not a good night for either party. Continue reading Heckling and Hate Speech
February 26, 2010
The South’s favorite critter. [...]
February 25, 2010
I don’t want to say that I live in a bizarre world but you see I reside in a town called Topsy Turvy in the country of Before. My name is Todd and I live on a small farm with my parents and my grandfather. I go to school and am proud to be at the bottom of my class. I reside in a small town with just a few neighbors way back in the country of Before. In my small town we do things a bit different than most. You see, when we plant corn, it grows underground. We have to pull it up with corn pickers when it is time to harvest. The carrots grow above ground and the watermelons are red on the outside and green on the inside. All of the people in our little town walk on their hands and when they meet on the street, they shake feet. Even our babies scoot on their backs rather than crawl on their knees. Our faucets point up and our drinking fountains down. Our school desks are on the ceilings, which of course makes seeing that much better since the lights are there.
On this wonderfully rainy morning, I stopped by the butchers on my way to school to give my mother’s shopping list to Mr. Fritz.
“Hello Todd. On your way to school I see,” greeted Mr. Fritz as he stood at the counter loading it with fresh bacon. “Is that your mother’s list for me?”
“Yes sir. Mom will be by later after she finishes making the pineapple right-side-up cake for the county bake sale.”
As I was about to leave, gabby Mrs. Gray walked in snooping for gossip. Continue reading The World Turned Upside Down
February 23, 2010
I am waiting for the morning when I look out my bedroom window and see a pack of coyotes traipsing down the street like they own the place. Their paws making prints in the snow, their presence making those hanging out after a night on the town take a second look at the number of cocktails they had before they made it home. Since the coyote appeared in Harlem in January and was tranquilized and released in Pelham Park in the Bronx two more sightings have occurred. That makes five times in 10 years that the Big Apple has gotten visits from coyotes. Are they moving in? Seeing how it’s a great place to hide according to biologists and movie makers we might as well expect a few coyotes to take up residence here. Continue reading Coyotes Making a Home in New York City
February 17, 2010
The man sitting next to me farted. It was loud. It was also the worse expulsion of body gases I had ever endured. He didn’t say sorry or excuse me. He just looked straight ahead as if the overwhelming odor had not invaded his olfactory senses.
I held my breath because I thought I was going to pass out if not die. Continue reading Bus Story: A Stinky Situation
February 16, 2010

Things change a lot. Like the four seasons of the year, things come and go, rise and fall, sparkle and fade. We live in an uncertain world, where we lose things we hold dear without any warning. Luckily, there are some things that stay the same and will never, ever change.
Glenn Beck is one of those things. Weekday or weekend, winter or spring, night or day, Glenn Beck brings the crazy. Smoking hot and ready to serve. Beck has made paranoid, blabbering psycho talk an art. Pack it in, conservative pundits, Beck has got this. He’s putting others to shame with his take on the current administration and the world surrounding him. He never has a shortage of outrageous talking points and, luckily for us all, he never has a shortage of TV appearances to attend, guaranteeing moment after moment of non-stop hilarity. Continue reading Glenn Beck is Still A Fat, Angry, Crazy Person!
February 11, 2010
Below is something that I sent to my family and they all said they liked it. However, they are family and what else could they say? I have a manager/partner in China whose name is David – we have associates named Eric and Uncle Wong. I live in Missouri and my relatives live in Wyoming. This sets the stage for the following recap of My Big Day Off – In China:
We found ourselves on a Saturday in a city I have visited before named Hangzhou (Han-Joe) with no appointments and time on our hands before our plane departed for Shenzhen (Sin-Gin). There is a lake in Hangzhou named West Lake. Not a very original name for the Chinese, but using Chinese logic, I am certain – somewhere – there is a North Lake, South Lake, Southeast Lake, Southwest Lake, South South Lake – you get the picture. The possibilities are endless.
David said, “Let’s take a boat ride”. Great – sounded like a good idea. Sitting quietly in a boat watching the countryside and relaxing – NOT. Think Progressive Dinner.

We did take a boat. Not something you would normally see in Missouri – or Wyoming for that matter. Regardless, I followed David and Eric on the boat and settled in for a comfortable ride. Continue reading My Big Day Off – In China
February 8, 2010
Chapter 7 – Dealing with Schools
For most of us dealing with the teachers and administration at our child’s school can be a difficult process. Many of us approach this important task with needless trepidation or false conceptions.
We were once students ourselves and may have built up a habit of obeying or even expecting punishment or derision from teachers and administrators.
This is a non productive attitude for parents. Teachers are not gods, many of them are hardly even human. Before engaging in any discourse with your child’s teacher, ask yourself these questions:
- Did this person find teaching as a calling in kindergarten, dedicating the rest of their lives to the education of children? Or was this the only job they could find after graduating with a useless degree in Grecian philosophy?
- Is this person a master educator or a product of “if you can’t do, teach.”
- Does this slimy wanker think they’re in charge? Or do they recognize that theirs is to serve in a difficult task as best they can. Parents, always ask yourself, are they “the boss of me?” Continue reading How to get your child through school successfully – a parents guide
February 3, 2010
EXCLUSIVE! EXCLUSIVE! Lindsay Lohan is a hoarder!
Lohan, interviewed by that woman from Reno 911, reveals to The Insider that she’s got a problem with hoarding — JUST LIKE THAT ONE SHOW ON THE TV!
“It’s kind of a sore subject,” the Mean Girls star says about her massive amount of shoes and clothing. “I just need to get rid of this stuff.” The music is really dramatic so you know that Lindsay’s serious.
I could care less about Lindsay Lohan. She hasn’t really been on my radar since A Prairie Home Companion. Since then, she’s devoted her time to crashing cars and drunken ramblings on Twitter. Obviously, you need more than that to draw me in. That being said, this new revelation about hoarder intrigues me, mostly because it’s complete BS. Continue reading Lohan: “I’m A Hoarder.” Me: “Um, What?”
February 1, 2010
Kachi A. Ozumba’s story of corruption, judicial incompetence and prevailing injustice in Nigeria is lightened by the humour he mixes with the pathos. Zuba, the naive and honest victim, moves from initial complacent trust in the legal system through amazement, disbelief and despair to a realisation that he cannot expect the judicial authorities to treat his situation seriously or with fairness. The police and prison authorities are shown as corrupt but perhaps no more so than the rest of this society.
Against the background of incarceration and hierarchical prison ethics, he paints a picture of a country still at war with a major portion of its citizens. The conflict with Biafra is a constant strand running through the novel and displays the underlying tribal nature of the Dark Continent, showing, with subtle insights, why prejudice is both harmful and pointless, wherever it may manifest itself.
Kachi paints his characters as real people undergoing real events. The details of daily life, education and the prison system in Nigeria suggest he has experienced all three; if not, his research methods are extraordinary. He also raises questions about the nature and value of religious faith, perhaps hinting that it is of greater value to the desperate and ignorant than to the hopeful and educated. Continue reading Stuart Aken Reviews The Shadow of a Smile by Kachi A Ozumba
January 24, 2010
From Bottom or Top
by Bob Grant
We are tall or short or skinny or fat,
We can drill that well or swing that bat.
We are bald or gray or brown or blond,
We can pitch that tent or fish that pond.
We are fair or dark or pale or tan,
We can [...]
January 14, 2010
Seer’s Moon is Karen Wolfe’s second fantasy novel centring on the unusual activities of Granny Beamish and her cronies. With its mixture of comic style and supernatural content, the book had me smiling, chuckling and laughing out loud; much to the consternation of my fellow travellers. The story, or at least the main thread, follows the fate of poor Kenneth who has inadvertently become a werewolf and is being chased by a sinister bounty hunter. Granny Beamish and her friends, family and associates, who have some sympathy with the vegetarian Kenneth and his harmless, if somewhat destructive, werewolf alter ego, do their best to prevent his capture and execution. The incompetent local police, an interfering busybody and a creepy, ambitious member of Granny’s Seer community all provide the necessary conflict. Meanwhile, Granny has to contend with the advances of her ex boyfriend, who jilted her, as he tries to win her back.
Seers, for those who are unsure, are members of a parallel community who use telepathy and certain types of magic; it isn’t wise for a normal human to mess with an accomplished Seer, especially one with the gifts possessed by Granny Beamish.
Karen Wolfe writes in a style of her own; colloquially and with a type of humour that touches my laughter muscles. This is a very English novel in many ways and some of the language and references may be lost on readers from outside. But there is so much that is universal in appeal that this association with Englishness acts as an enhancement, giving the book a quirky character that should appeal to readers of all nationalities. And, talking of ‘quirky’ this is the way her characters come across. All are individual, even the dogs, wolf, griffons and other animals, and especially the rampaging sheep. Her people have flaws as well as positive attributes and all of them are very human, sometimes touching and always hilarious, often in ways that completely escape the characters themselves. Continue reading Stuart Aken’s Review of Seer’s Moon by Karen Wolfe
January 9, 2010
A Fly on the Wall
by Bob Grant
Be a Fly on the Wall the old saying goes,
Is it something you want or a set up for woes?
Food on the plates and beer on the table,
Distracted before hearing what I am able?
There’s strips, and sprays, and things that kill,
Sure [...]
January 8, 2010
Are You a Minnow or Are You a Whale?
by Bob Grant
Are you a Minnow or are you a Whale?
Is it for real or maybe a tale?
Like open waters or only small spaces?
There all the time or just certain cases?
Like breathing room and wide open air?
Are you that cave [...]
January 7, 2010
A Nigerian friend of mine was in Washington and decided he wanted to party and visited a top club one night. Snake hips was shaking his stuff and hooked up with a real beauty in the club. “Hey babe I have something explosive hidden in my underpants.” He used a chat up line.
Did [...]
December 27, 2009
Posted by timbryce in: Humor
What the heck do we call it? [...]
December 11, 2009
More rapid than an eagle, his Ford truck flew [...]
December 5, 2009
I’m a dog that won’t bark
by Bob Grant
I’m a dog that won’t bark – a cow that won’t moo.
I’m a pig that won’t oink – a cat that won’t mew.
I’m a frog that won’t croak – a bird that won’t tweet.
I’m a hare that won’t jump – a [...]
December 2, 2009
My daughter forwarded this to me – I thought it was worth sharing. My wife wants to try this – using me as the dummy:
Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations this year.
Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. [...]
November 14, 2009
Posted by npofahl in: Attitude, Biography & Memoir, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Family, Freelance Author, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Non-Fiction, Personal Experiences, Short Stories, Social Aspects, The Writer's Corner, Women's Perspective
The Wide and Wacky World of Sports
Nancy Pofahl
I like sports. My whole family does, save my daughter. She’s the odd one.
When I was young, I loved to play tennis, volleyball, basketball or anything that involved guys crashing into girls. Especially the good looking guys that weren’t related to me. The exception of course was tennis- that involved me crashing into the net and faceplanting on the concrete.
I was fairly athletic and had a wicked hook shot in basketball that’s made me a legend with my son and all my nephews. I am only 5’4”, according to what I tell people. I could make my shot over people that were several heads taller, and from any distance and at any angle within twenty five feet of the net. I had extremely strong arms for a girl, probably from fighting with my sisters over clothes. Plus, I was too short to defend, especially against someone who wasn’t aware of my famous ability. In the business we call that ‘hustling’.
I liked competition, and my sisters, brothers and myself used to compete for any number of things- dish duty, garbage duty, or just plain for the hell of it. Being the youngest of eight kids, I had to be athletic and fast, or else I’d probably not be alive today. Particularly when I did stupid things like play with my sisters’ makeup, or breaking my brothers’ model train set. Continue reading THE RIDICULOUS SIDE OF LIFE
November 13, 2009
“Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?” [...]
November 6, 2009
Posted by georgepolley in: Books, Creative Writing, Fiction, General Topics, Habit Change, Humor, Personal Experiences, Poetry, Sex, Short Stories, Social Issues, Technology, The Writer's Corner
“At last!” Isn’t that what everyone says when they have their first sexual experience? “At last!” “it” happened. I recall as a young teenager praying (never out loud): “Please, God, don’t let me die until I’ve had sex!” And by that, I didn’t (and most people don’t) mean masturbation. That goes on without saying [...]
November 5, 2009
My daughter is a school teacher – she sent me her answers to the questions below. She is the one with the great sense of humor.
Please Do Not Spoil The Fun! Hit Forward, Delete My Answers And Type In
Your Answers. Then Send This To A Whole Bunch Of People That You Know…And
Send It Back To Me So I Can See Your Answers !!
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Elektra, Crimefighter Extraordinaire – but I just go by “Jill”.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday, when I heard stirrup pants are making a comeback.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Only when endorsing large checks.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? That’s what she said…
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Two: a husband and a daughter.
6.. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Hmmm….
7. ARE YOU SARCASTIC? Never!
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? In a jar on my desk. Continue reading My daughter – the one with the great sense of humor
November 4, 2009
A group of students take their teacher, Eric Lindahl, out on the town in Mexico City’s Plaza Garibaldi during the Christmas season. They are in for some big surprises when a local tough shows up and harasses their teacher, and an even bigger one when their teacher turns into a donkey, and a new corrido is born. [...]
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The Gaslight Journal is Done
Begun back sometime in 2001, this book was originally a fluke of an idea… [...]