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March 11, 2010
Dear President Obama,
Hey, it’s Brandon again.
I recently read that you are inviting Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg to The White House to view the new HBO series The Pacific. I think that’s great. It’s very honorable that you are respecting these men who are chronicling the efforts of our uniformed men and women. I just [...]
March 10, 2010
My family and I just returned from a fantastic holiday. As soon as I got home I started looking for my countless lists of Things To Do. But that inevitably lead to Things to Avoid. So I have decided to compile lists of Things on Vacation. WAY more fun, and, I am sure, very [...]
February 26, 2010
At what point does comedy become hate speech? How free is free speech? Do we still have lines that comedians and other entertainers can’t cross?
Comedian Guy Earle
Canadian comedian Guy Earle is dealing with all these questions lately. Earle is being taken to the British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal to face charges of hateful speech. [...]
February 26, 2010
The South’s favorite [...]
February 25, 2010
I don’t want to say that I live in a bizarre world but you see I reside in a town called Topsy Turvy in the country of Before. My name is Todd and I live on a small farm with my parents and my grandfather. I go to school and am proud to be at [...]
February 23, 2010
I am waiting for the morning when I look out my bedroom window and see a pack of coyotes traipsing down the street like they own the place. Their paws making prints in the snow, their presence making those hanging out after a night on the town take a second look at the number of [...]
February 17, 2010
The man sitting next to me farted. It was loud. It was also the worse expulsion of body gases I had ever endured. He didn’t say sorry or excuse me. He just looked straight ahead as if the overwhelming odor had not invaded his olfactory senses.
I held my breath because I thought I was going [...]
February 16, 2010
Things change a lot. Like the four seasons of the year, things come and go, rise and fall, sparkle and fade. We live in an uncertain world, where we lose things we hold dear without any warning. Luckily, there are some things that stay the same and will never, ever change.
Glenn Beck is one of [...]
February 11, 2010
Below is something that I sent to my family and they all said they liked it. However, they are family and what else could they say? I have a manager/partner in China whose name is David – we have associates named Eric and Uncle Wong. I live in Missouri and my relatives live in Wyoming. This sets [...]
February 8, 2010
Chapter 7 – Dealing with Schools
For most of us dealing with the teachers and administration at our child’s school can be a difficult process. Many of us approach this important task with needless trepidation or false conceptions.
We were once students ourselves and may have built up a habit of obeying or even expecting punishment or [...]
February 3, 2010
EXCLUSIVE! EXCLUSIVE! Lindsay Lohan is a hoarder!
Lohan, interviewed by that woman from Reno 911, reveals to The Insider that she’s got a problem with hoarding — JUST LIKE THAT ONE SHOW ON THE TV!
“It’s kind of a sore subject,” the Mean Girls star says about her massive amount of shoes and clothing. “I just need [...]
February 1, 2010
Kachi A. Ozumba’s story of corruption, judicial incompetence and prevailing injustice in Nigeria is lightened by the humour he mixes with the pathos. Zuba, the naive and honest victim, moves from initial complacent trust in the legal system through amazement, disbelief and despair to a realisation that he cannot expect the judicial authorities to treat [...]
January 24, 2010
From Bottom or Top
by Bob Grant
We are tall or short or skinny or fat,
We can drill that well or swing that bat.
We are bald or gray or brown or blond,
We can pitch that tent or fish that pond.
We are fair or dark or pale or tan,
We can paint that fence or wash that van.
We are [...]
January 14, 2010
Seer’s Moon is Karen Wolfe’s second fantasy novel centring on the unusual activities of Granny Beamish and her cronies. With its mixture of comic style and supernatural content, the book had me smiling, chuckling and laughing out loud; much to the consternation of my fellow travellers. The story, or at least the main thread, follows [...]
January 9, 2010
A Fly on the Wall
by Bob Grant
Be a Fly on the Wall the old saying goes,
Is it something you want or a set up for woes?
Food on the plates and beer on the table,
Distracted before hearing what I am able?
There’s strips, and sprays, and things that kill,
Sure tests a fly’s reason and will.
If another fly sits [...]
January 8, 2010
Are You a Minnow or Are You a Whale?
by Bob Grant
Are you a Minnow or are you a Whale?
Is it for real or maybe a tale?
Like open waters or only small spaces?
There all the time or just certain cases?
Like breathing room and wide open air?
Are you that cave with a small snoring bear?
Are you a showoff [...]
January 7, 2010
A Nigerian friend of mine was in Washington and decided he wanted to party and visited a top club one night. Snake hips was shaking his stuff and hooked up with a real beauty in the club. “Hey babe I have something explosive hidden in my underpants.” He used a chat up line.
Did he:
a) Blow [...]
December 27, 2009
Posted by timbryce in: Humor
What the heck do we call [...]
December 11, 2009
More rapid than an eagle, his Ford truck [...]
December 5, 2009
I’m a dog that won’t bark
by Bob Grant
I’m a dog that won’t bark – a cow that won’t moo.
I’m a pig that won’t oink – a cat that won’t mew.
I’m a frog that won’t croak – a bird that won’t tweet.
I’m a hare that won’t jump – a croc that won’t eat.
I’m a creature with no need [...]
December 2, 2009
My daughter forwarded this to me – I thought it was worth sharing. My wife wants to try this – using me as the dummy:
Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations this year.
Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news [...]
November 14, 2009
Posted by npofahl in: Attitude, Biography & Memoir, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Family, Freelance Author, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Non-Fiction, Personal Experiences, Short Stories, Social Aspects, The Writer's Corner, Women's Perspective
The Wide and Wacky World of Sports
Nancy Pofahl
I like sports. My whole family does, save my daughter. She’s the odd one.
When I was young, I loved to play tennis, volleyball, basketball or anything that involved guys crashing into girls. Especially [...]
November 13, 2009
“Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other [...]
November 6, 2009
Posted by georgepolley in: Books, Creative Writing, Fiction, General Topics, Habit Change, Humor, Personal Experiences, Poetry, Sex, Short Stories, Social Issues, Technology, The Writer's Corner
“At last!” Isn’t that what everyone says when they have their first sexual experience? “At last!” “it” happened. I recall as a young teenager praying (never out loud): “Please, God, don’t let me die until I’ve had sex!” And by that, I didn’t (and most people don’t) mean masturbation. That goes on without saying once [...]
November 5, 2009
My daughter is a school teacher – she sent me her answers to the questions below. She is the one with the great sense of humor.
Please Do Not Spoil The Fun! Hit Forward, Delete My Answers And Type In
Your Answers. Then Send This To A Whole Bunch Of People That You Know…And
Send It Back [...]
November 4, 2009
A group of students take their teacher, Eric Lindahl, out on the town in Mexico City’s Plaza Garibaldi during the Christmas season. They are in for some big surprises when a local tough shows up and harasses their teacher, and an even bigger one when their teacher turns into a donkey, and a new corrido is [...]
October 3, 2009
Posted by cmusico in: Advice, Attitude, Biography & Memoir, Economic Crisis, Economics, Faith, Family, Finance, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Journalism, Life Experiences, Motivation, Nutrition, Personal Experiences, Recovery, Relationships, Weight loss
This month marks a rather large milestone in my life — it’s the official one-year anniversary of my real-world independence. This time last year, I moved into my apartment in Jersey City. Sure, I stayed in the dorms at Seton Hall University, but I always went home for the summer. This was different, though. This [...]
September 30, 2009
Next week starts a new, exciting chapter in my life as I move from sunny Los Angeles, California all the way up to not-as-sunny Portland, Oregon. The move has been in the works for a long time and it’s both exciting and nerve-wracking watching the date rapidly approach. By now, I have most everything squared [...]
September 30, 2009
Hi folks, Satan here. You know, Beelzebub, Lucifer, Nicodemus, old Nick, Mephistopheles. Just thought I’d pass along a few questions that have occurred to me over the thousand or so years since you guys thought me up. I’m very curious as to your answers, so I wanted to kind of pass them out, if you [...]
September 26, 2009
A Noisy Neighborhood Meeting
“I see it’s time for our Neighborhood Association meeting again,” said grandmother as she walked through the door carrying the day’s mail. “They’ve scheduled it for this coming Wednesday afternoon, at two.”
“Mmmm,” grandfather said, his nose in the afternoon newspaper; “What’s the main topic this time?”
“The usual: cleanup, [...]
September 23, 2009
Lesson 1: wordsmiths and writers
Of course, it’s none of my business, but in my mind, there are two very different types of scribbling words on a page; wordsmithing and writing. It’s just more names, or possibly titles, and humans often cross over from one to the other, leaping back and forth at will. Or, [...]
September 16, 2009
Posted by Prentiss Gray in: Attitude, Books, Communications, Creative Writing, Family, Fiction, Humor, Literature, Motivation, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
Everyone has someone in mind for this noble title, or perhaps they have too many, and can’t choose. Well, let me put forward a name to you, and possibly expand your mind a little as to the worth and possibilities of writing. I bet you know him. After all, publishing over 60 books, selling 220 [...]
September 14, 2009
Friday is Payday!
Kickin shirt! Walmart?
This is one of my favorite “god” questions, mostly due to the reaction I got the first time I asked it. I was talking to a co-worker about his beliefs, mostly because they worried me. He stated that without the threat of “god’s wrath” he would be a [...]
September 11, 2009
Some lessons learned from NBC’s “The [...]
September 3, 2009
Posted by Prentiss Gray in: Attitude, Communications, Diet, Entertainment, Freelance Author, Global Warming, Health & Fitness, Humor, Lifestyle, Marketing, Motivation, Non-Fiction, Sociology, Television, The Media, Uncategorized
Is it a problem that negative journalism is read, viewed, discussed more than positive reporting? Well, more viewers means more money and as a race, it would seem that we are more attracted to the negative than the positive.
Just a few nights in front of the TV around any election will demonstrate to the viewer [...]
August 28, 2009
Meet Glenn.
Glenn’s a 45-year-old American living in New York City. Glenn looks like a happy, healthy man but, unlike you and me, Glenn’s living in a nightmare. He wakes up every morning to a world he no longer realizes. His media have come liberal and biased, his freedoms are being taken away. [...]
August 25, 2009
And we usually guess [...]
July 13, 2009
There are many ways to measure a man’s worth. You can examine the amount of money he gives to charity or the time he spends helping his community. You can look at his family, see how he has affected those closest to him. You can look at the amount he recycles, the way he cares [...]
June 12, 2009
I stand here, arms well muscled after countless days in the gym. I assume the position, as it has come to be known, in the small circle that is event security. Feet apart, shoulders squared, arms folded at the chest with a menacing scowl on [...]
June 10, 2009
Just stay off the scale, leave it alone, shut the emotional door behind, and walk into the distance? What a concept. Skip all the fussing and frustrations associated with the ups and downs of my daily weight and lead a normal healthy life? Could that be possible? Can I do [...]
May 9, 2009
People sometimes ask what the impetus was for writing Last Call. Me being Irish should cover most of my explanation about a book where eighty percent of the action takes place in a bar. The gift of gab certainly helped. A fondness for a pint and being a lifetime observer of people didn’t hurt either.
Actually, [...]
May 7, 2009
Posted by scottqmarcus in: Attitude, Diet, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Motivation, Self-Help, Weight loss, Wellness
I know what you’re thinking, “There’s a lot of activity but no action.” See! Readin’ you like a book, aren’t I? I saw that [...]
May 4, 2009
Interviewer: I’d like to begin this interview by confessing that after reading The Case, I found myself feeling more and more frustrated by the sex act. I’m wondering if this is a complaint you’ve heard from other readers?
Mel Nicolai: This is the first time I’ve heard that specific complaint. To tell the truth, most [...]
April 26, 2009
I had the coolest interview by Juanita Watson with Reader Views. She is really good. It was like talking to an old friend or something. If only they were all like that. I remember this one time with this dude from the FBI….boy could he take lessons from Juanita. To listen to my really cool [...]
April 24, 2009
I want to shriek, “Don’t you dare tell me what size I am! I am a professional dieter. I can list the calories, fat, fiber, and sugar content of every food ever invented. Go ahead, test me!” Feeling mall security would not take kindly to a raving maniac in bulging britches, I opt to keep closed my pie [...]
April 24, 2009
Posted by Tina Rae Collins in: Attitude, Health & Fitness, Healthcare, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Lifestyle, Medical, Motivation, Religion, Self-Help, Spirituality, Wellness, Women's Perspective
A friend who runs complained recently about chafing. It occurred to me that I never chafe–never have and probably never will. Why? My mama done told me many years ago. “Be thankful you’re bowlegged,” she said, “because when you aren’t, your legs rub together and you chafe.” A blessing to be bowlegged! Who would [...]
April 18, 2009
I can never leave the house again. I cannot subject myself to the embarrassment of my affliction nor can I bring myself to force others to suffer along with me. No one should have to choose between pity and disgust for my sake. I should not expose myself to [...]
April 15, 2009
Why not manufacture a scale for uninspired dieters who merely want to feel good, but don’t want to actually change? [...]
April 4, 2009
Poetry is a way of seeing clearly and deeply into the life of the self, the soul and the world in which we live. Poetry gets at the heart of something and reveals it. Poetry involves clarity of vision; it means of expression is the music and rhythm of language, where words are the notes and flow is movement and [...]
March 28, 2009
and raring to go.
My wife, the dogs and I rented an over-priced, shitty home with a great pool and beautiful landscaping for two weeks and escaped Bike Week and most of Spring Break. We didn’t escape Duval Street though and made lots of new bartender friends. There is some new stuff there now so I’ll [...]
March 28, 2009
Posted by AngelaPoseyArnold in: Attitude, Family, Freelance Author, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Lifestyle, Marriage, Nature/Wildlife, Non-Fiction, Relationships, Religion, Short Stories, Uncategorized, Wellness
A prerequisite for dating me during my late twenties was the ability to carry and load large rocks. When I prayed for my future husband to come along and sweep me off my feet I always added, “And Lord please, let him be strong”.
Live, Laugh, [...]
March 26, 2009
That was a lot easier than I’d expected, which, by itself, gave me pause. Was there a message being conveyed? Did I lack the sophistication, the sensitivity, to interpret it? Had the conditions of my being deteriorated to the point where I now existed within a qualitative opacity that obscured the obvious? And if that [...]
March 26, 2009
The first thing you learn when you come to the Big Apple is watch your belongings and don’t put anything down that you want. It might walk away. Long before I moved to New York I was told one story that [...]
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Books by SWI Contributors
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I Suffer from Jokeaphobia
I Suffer from Jokeaphobia
by Bob Grant
I love a good joke – I enjoy laughing when people are funny. However, when I try to tell a joke – that I have heard – I get nothing. I either forget the punch line, am so excited to get to the punch line that I forget the story, [...]