September 2, 2010

Not Everyone is Meant to Be a Winner

This trend started some years back that baffles me. In a world dominated by fierce competition schools, sports teams, and even some youth clubs were giving awards to every child- just for being a child. There was no spirit of competition, no desire to become the best. And although it is sad when children get left back socially because they didn’t get picked for the team what is sadder is the growing number of people who think mediocrity is something be rewarded. Continue reading Not Everyone is Meant to Be a Winner

September 1, 2010

Accepting What Comes: Aging Gracefully

I’ve queried seniors about whether they feel “elderly.” Whether the respondent was 70, 80 – I even got to ask someone who was 99 – the answer was almost always identical, “I pretty much feel like I always have.’” [...]

August 31, 2010

Happy New Year!

back to school apple

January 1? Nope.

September 2nd, 2010.

Yes, the official year starts after all the Christmas wrapping paper is stuffed into the recycle bin, but for me, and, I suspect, for many other moms and dads, the first day of school is the REAL start of the year.


This year in Canada, it’s early. Usually they wait until after Labour Day, but something to do with the Canada Games (yes, I know. There was a memo. If I could find the memo I’d read it and explain it here, but I have no idea where anything is.) means they start earlier this year, have shorter Christmas and Easter breaks and a VERY long February holiday (2 weeks). Anyway, that means I have one more day of holidays with my kids before I pack ‘em on the bus again.

This is, for me, a day of mixed emotions. Back in June, they ran screaming off the bus, hooting and hollering about Freedom! while I watched mine disappear with the dust of the bus. Gone were my daytime hours of uninterrupted writing time. Continue reading Happy New Year!

August 31, 2010

Sadness, Self Control and Sugar

Some years ago I learned to change my eating habits so that I wouldn’t tip the scales like a great whale. My sweet tooth was my problem. Although I love vegetables and could eat salad for breakfast, lunch and dinner, having something sweet like candy or cookies or cake. . .okay I have to stop because now I am salivating. Something sweet was always a reward for a job well day, a day that was good or plain old dessert.

Then I learned that sugar could help get you through sadness. Not only did I have to change my eating habits but I had to learn self control. Continue reading Sadness, Self Control and Sugar

August 30, 2010

Republicratarian?!

As a child, I heard that you should not discuss politics or religion in polite company.  When I broke this rule as a teenager, I learned some of the reasons why you shouldn’t.  However, if you don’t discuss these issues, you can never learn, nor can you come to any consensus.  Honesty seems to be the best method of arriving at acceptable solutions in compromise.  What is disconcerting is polarization.    My mother always told me to think for myself, and arrive at my own conclusions.  She was referring to gossip at the time, but the same philosophy is applicable here.  I grew up around a great many Democrats.  My great-grandmother, “Granny” was from Brooklyn, New York.  She used to tell me stories of how our distant relative named Al Smith had run for President as a Democrat.  By her recollection, he was turned down because he was a Catholic.  As she was a Catholic, she was proud that John Kennedy was elected as the first “Catholic” President.  My father was a Teamster, and the union was “right” about everything.  I heard stories of Harry Truman (whom I probably would have really liked) and others in politics. Continue reading Republicratarian?!

August 26, 2010

The End of Summer

The master bedroom sits on the second floor at the front of the brownstone. The street outside is alive with laughter, music, noise and enjoyment for the rain that has plagued us for almost five days has come to an end and given us a cool day with bright sun and a cool night with a talented breeze. It sweeps through the master bedroom accompanied by an unfamiliar Latin tune and meets the wind that circles in from the back guest room giving the evening an autumn chill and a reminder of nights to come. two weeks left to my unmoving and innocent vacation and I am spending them enjoying the remnants of summer. Continue reading The End of Summer

August 24, 2010

It’s difficult to remain positive

Research has actually proven that humans are “hard-wired” to assume things will go cattywumpus rather than not. Given the opportunity to attribute a random event to either good new or bad, we will usually assume the road has more potholes than flat patches. [...]

August 24, 2010

The Gaslight Journal is Done

Begun back sometime in 2001, this book was originally a fluke of an idea… [...]

August 23, 2010

Strange Fruit Living Just Enough For The City

The revival of South Pacific was broadcast live on PBS On August 18, PBS live Lincoln Center. The musical which originally opened on Broadway on April 7, 1949 is one of my favorite musicals but then, I love just about everything Rogers and Hammerstein did from Carousel to Porgy and Bess to Oklahoma to Flower Drum Song.

As I sat mesmerized in front to my television sometimes singing aloud and other times mouthing the lyrics to songs I consider to be some of the most beautiful songs ever written it slowly began to dawn on me that this musical was not so much about American troops at war on an island in the south pacific as much as it was a story about racism. Continue reading Strange Fruit Living Just Enough For The City

August 20, 2010

I Feel So Dirty

Today, I got greedy, and went back for more. Oh, the feeling of sneaking into my browser at 5 a.m. when no one else’s up and looking. Knowing the rest of the world is asleep and you’re sitting there, in your footie pajamas, alone and all sneaky. I had to have one more peek. [...]

August 19, 2010

Subway Story: Free Show with Ride

Someone or some group is always on the hustle on the subway trains. From people claiming to help the homeless to those singing for a few cents there is always some type of entertainment provided. Most of the time you wish those bothering the riders would get off the train between stops and never be heard from again.

But then there are moments worth the embattled ride. Continue reading Subway Story: Free Show with Ride

August 18, 2010

I’d Like to Thank The Academy…

We’re so focused on failure, that we never prepare ourselves for what to do when it finally works. Maybe that’s the reason some self-sabotage themselves before ever becoming successful. They never prepared themselves mentally for handling the situation when they finally hit it big. And mental preparation is needed for success. Just ask those folks who are busy being successful. But they probably won’t have time to return your call. [...]

August 17, 2010

Really?

It’s the latest catch phrase, well, in this case word. I have heard it used on commercials and last night on a television show. The single female summed up the blind date with the handsome but strange man as “Really?” It’s one of those words that explains a lot and the person you are saying it too usually gets it. I have started mentally using it for things that annoy me, rub me the wrong way or are just plain, well, ridiculous. Here’s a list of a few, and trust me the list will keep on growing, Continue reading Really?

August 16, 2010

Codes and Passwords

When I first moved to New York City I was amazed at the number of people who were having a hard time dealing with automatic tellers. You put in your card and your code or password in order to get your money. Seemed simple enough but people didn’t want to have codes and passwords. They would do the simplest and the most unsafe thing. They would make the code 1-2-3 or their birthday, their phone number, their street address. It was easy in those days to know what the codes of others were because no one cared. Then identities and money got stolen and people were advised to not make access to their accounts so easy. They were told to complicate the codes.

Now most of us can’t remember the damn things without having a notebook listing them all. Continue reading Codes and Passwords

August 15, 2010

Tales from the CriBt.

Steampunk followers of the genre's sub-culture
I had a killer audition today.

At 11:00 a.m., I called Nathan and told him I wasn’t there yet–that I would be a little late.  He assured me it would be okay.  But I felt like crap about it.

I met him at a huge warehouse that used to be a local department store, with its windows blackened.  His was the only vehicle in the parking lot, which made me a little nervous, but never-the-less, I went in anyway.

I began by filling out some paperwork, and then we talked for probably an hour.  He was happy to share his concept with me. Continue reading Tales from the CriBt.

August 12, 2010

Worth The Wait

Penguin logo

I read a neat blog article somewhere today about … waiting.

It talked about how a writer spends their days … waiting. They wait for inspiration, they wait for responses from agencies and publishers, they wait for feedback … from anyone.

All painfully true.

But it’s not just writers. It’s people in general. We wait for the bus. We wait for the paycheque (or should), then wait in line to spend it. We wait for the kids to finish swimming lessons. Wait wait wait. Glancing at my watch or calendar, tapping my toes, hurrying so I can wait some more.

But waiting, and thinking about waiting is a waste of time. You can’t control time. But … you can take control of your time. Continue reading Worth The Wait

August 9, 2010

How to Market your Talent if you Cross-Pollinate (some practical guidelines)

This week has been *very* busy for me. The publishing world (I promise, this ties
into acting and other arts.) has changed very quickly with wi-fi books; i.e., Nook, Kindle,
app readers for smart phones, and so now not only is an author faced with
writing on his next upcoming release, but he’s also shouldered the
responsibility for the marketing, publicity, the advertising, and it takes a
lot…of…work. My days with Lupus and Fibromyalgia, are at least
16-hours, all of it writing: my upcoming novel release in the fall, my
blog, and I’m also now contributing author at several sites.

If you create it, they will come. Continue reading How to Market your Talent if you Cross-Pollinate (some practical guidelines)

August 7, 2010

I should’ve been the one to paint the Sistine Chapel

I’d like to think it was because at that moment in time, she didn’t see little old me from the dairy farm with no money–she saw Carla René, the brilliant, undiscovered painter who should’ve been the one to paint the Sistine Chapel instead of that deadbeat, Michelangelo. [...]

August 6, 2010

Disclipline is a Bitch

Once or twice this week I was able to sneak under Discipline’s radar. I got a lot done! I rent a room in my landlady’s home, so while she’s been on vacation this week, I have been keeper-of-the-canine, and with him being a German Shepard/Husky mix, he’s required a lot of my attention. I’ve also cooked a few good meals for myself, and came up with “DJ Squeak,” her cat’s new rap name. So you see, it wasn’t all fun and games. But, discipline always finds me and drags me back. [...]

August 5, 2010

Conflict! I need more conflict!

It’s amazing how topics can just hit ya without expecting it, y’know? Like now. I was responding to another writer who replied to yesterday’s article, and in that response, I found myself soon delving deep into the topic of adding more conflict to one’s writing, when I realised, I’d probably be better off to expound upon that and put it here for public consumption. Not that it will actually give you consumption, but follow along.

How are you with conflict? My friend, mid-list author J. A. Konrath (who just got published for an interview this week in Newsweek about this whole self-pub craze), was a member of my online writing group before he was anyone with his six-figure advance from Hyperion Press for Whiskey Sour, and when he had time to contribute, he would always hammer one thing: If you’re having trouble with your piece, go back to conflict. And he was right. Conflict is inherent in everything we touch, see and do. So why do we avoid it in story-telling? Maybe because we’re afraid of it. How often do we avoid it in real life? I know in private, when I get behind the wheel of a car, suddenly I’m possessed with Turret’s Syndrome, but when I’m sober? Look out! Continue reading Conflict! I need more conflict!

August 5, 2010

Intolerant of stupidity

from http://wackyiraqi.com

Intolerant of stupidity……intolerant of stupidity…….. what does that mean, I wonder?  I’m confused.  Who would say that?  Who could say that?  Someone who says they are “intolerant of stupidity”  must have a well thought out definition of what stupidity is.  Perhaps they have a special protocol for identification or a special device, a “stupidity meter?”

Does intolerance of stupidity mean a zest for education?  Someone who goes throughout the world on an endless quest to cure ignorance?  That’s a nice thought.  But it really doesn’t sound like that, does it?  It sounds more like someone who feels very full of themselves.

Just hearing that makes me think of the people who are shocked when another questions something.  You know the ones who say things like “What a stupid question. Don’t you know anything?” or “Stupid jerk, come back when you know something, will ya?”

I’m pretty sure we’ve all heard, or at least felt that attitude.  It’s really more an expression of superiority, isn’t it?  A person must think they’re awfully clever or intelligent to call another person, or their questions, stupid.  Do you think Einstein, Hawking or Bach angrily refused to answer “stupid” questions?  Would they come a party and say: Continue reading Intolerant of stupidity

August 3, 2010

Bone-headed sometimes pays off

After ALL of this self-aggrandising I’ve done, you’d think some of it would have paid off a little quicker. I think I broke some rules of etiquette, but here’s what I did: [...]

August 2, 2010

A new author with an imaginary day-job needs fans to mock her!

I will not puff myself up (except for the lie about implants) to make me seem better than I am. Merely looking at me will convince you of this. So I won’t lie and say I’m not a fresh, new face on the publishing scene. I am. Have you seen my skin?? The real point being, I’m just starting out on this self-publication journey, and instead of blogging ad nauseum about toxic waist (Pun intended), or deforestation, or even the recession, I’ve decided that I’d like to share my pure and raw experiences, both good and hideously disfiguring disappointments, in the blog. I mean, what good am I to keep around if you can’t truly mock me? [...]

July 23, 2010

Wasting Time

I arose from my tent early and found a mess left in the camp.  The raccoons had found the cooler.  They discovered that our breakfast of eggs could be found inside.  Little hand prints were left as evidence of the burglary.  The broken egg shells and disarray were not enough.  The little marks noted their presence and also their prescience.  They had no doubt watched us putting things away, or just somehow knew that they could find goodies in that box.   I clean up then go about just sitting alone in my woodsy campsite.  The kids are still sleeping, and so are the rest of the adults.  You would think that I would be lonely without the company, but I am not.  The breeze blows by my ears, my hair gently moving.  The chirping of birds and bubbling of running water are comforting; downright relaxing.  It seems that you see so much more when you take the time to just sit, put away your generated thought, and watch the world go by you.  There are so many insects.  Normally, I wouldn’t want them around, but they don’t seem to bother me so much today.  Except for the flies, none are “on” me.  On a boulder in the distance, I see a cardinal.  It flits between rocks and gravel, in search of its’ daily sustenance.  The red bird seems oblivious to anything not crawling on or under the dirt.  He has identified his area of interest and actively pursues his objective.  A few little pecks at the soil, and he flies into a nearby branch.  It becomes obvious that he achieved his goal, a little breakfast du jour.  Maybe a snack of flies would appeal to him?  I suspect that he won’t get that close to me.  At least he has had breakfast… Continue reading Wasting Time

July 23, 2010

A Real Day Off

I haven’t had a real day off since October 2009. That was when I returned by train from Atlanta and spent all my time sleeping or looking at the world roll by. True I had some time off from work at Christmas, but we had a guest who had never celebrated the holiday before. And there have been sick days when I was ill and I slept to recover. Weekends are semi off with re-writing and re-reading books to be published and planning book parties for the summer. My summer time off is already full.  I don’t see a real day off in the near future but if I did it would go something like this: Continue reading A Real Day Off

July 21, 2010

Healing Dose of Happiness

So I’m sitting here in Spicewood Texas at a nice little place.  There are plenty of trees, and a magnificent natural swimming hole with waterfalls and springs.  My boss was calling and I didn’t want to talk to him, so I didn’t.  I emailed him instead.  It was a pretty lousy thing to do, but this is my once a year visit with my family, and it is only for a few days.  I love my job, and will go back to working my six or seven days a week soon enough.  There comes a time when you just have to decide what is most important to you.  I chose to enjoy my family.  I’ll deal with the consequences later.  I did leave a few hours early, but I had tended to the needs of the company.  If I had just said nothing, I would have been better off.  I could still do the job by phone, and enjoy the time.  My absence would hardly go noticed.

               So why am I sitting here writing about it?  Because this is a pleasure!  I am surrounded by my loved ones, in a marvelous natural environment, and just enjoying some personal thoughts.  I am sharing a few with you now… because I want to! Continue reading Healing Dose of Happiness

July 14, 2010

What is Fear of Success?

With appropriate disclaimers admitted, if we accept that we are standing in our own way, it begs the question, “Why would we do that?” Why do we NOT reach further, dream larger, and believe better? The primary answer is: Fear; Fear of Success, and its dastardly sibling, Fear of Failure. [...]

July 9, 2010

Facts & Theories

Interesting how some ideas become facts, while others are discounted.  The concept of “God” is a notion of an explanation to that which we did not understand and a theory of how we became.  Evolution is a theory as well.  It is not scientifically sufficient to call it fact.  There is too much evidence [...]

July 6, 2010

The (Black) Hair Thing

My hair is not my shining glory.

Saying that as a black woman conjures up a lot of feelings, jokes and anger. But not for me. Once a young friend chastised me for cutting my hair. She told me everyone was trying to grow some and here I destroying mine. My response was “It’s only hair and it will grow back”. It was something she didn’t understand because for ages black women have wanted the hair they claim God didn’t give them. I know why, I understand why but I think now is the time to get over it. It is time for a major hair change in this country. Continue reading The (Black) Hair Thing

July 5, 2010

Answering Mr. Gray

Back in June my friend Minnette Coleman wrote a piece entitled General McChrystal Should Go. As with most of Minnette’s posts it garnered several comments some of which focused on the morale of our troops. My comment, which said that I was not concerned with troop morale, raised the ire of Prentiss Gray.I promised to respond to Prentiss and so, after a bit of a wait, here is my reply. Continue reading Answering Mr. Gray

July 1, 2010

I saw her there…

I saw her here,

I saw her there,

I saw her hair right down to there,

Her lips of wine,

Her scent divine,

God, I want to make her mine. Continue reading I saw her there…

June 27, 2010

Closing Pandoras Box

When I was a boy my Pap would tell me that a good man should over-deliver and under-promise.  Your word and your handshake were a contract.  The good rules to live by were the “Golden Rule”, The Ten Commandments and the Constitution of the United States.  Regardless of what you believe, these are a great foundation.  I understood the golden rule from the time I was a small child.  In my household, we tried really hard to do unto others as we would have them do unto us.  I have a great deal of empathy as an adult, as a result of this early upbringing.  The Ten Commandments were much clearer to me as I entered the middle years of school.  As a small child, the concepts are difficult to grasp.  With time and a little maturing, it is easy to understand the ethical implications.  Don’t lie, murder, steal, cheat on your commitments, or desire to take private property.  You should honor your parents and not worship self-indulgent or self-proclaimed “gods”.  You should work only six days in the week.  One day should be reserved for family members and also those who labor for you; to rest, family and thanks to your creator.  I always had difficulty with the graven image issue, but none the less, these are good rules.   The Constitution, its’ causes, its’ meaning, and the intent were difficult to grasp.  The language was a bit nebulous from the perspective of a child, the need for it unclear. Continue reading Closing Pandoras Box

June 23, 2010

It’s not the number, it’s the benefits

When the baby boomers started being born shortly after World War II, the entire population inhabiting this third rock from the sun was 2.3 billion. Therefore, if we lived in 1947, and we were facing this same predicament, every single, solitary, person would need to be on a diet. [...]

June 23, 2010

General McChrystal Should Go

I am sure over the years many Generals have not agreed with the Commander in Chief of the United States. But they didn’t talk about it in magazines or say such disrespectful things as General McChrystal reportedly said in a Rolling Stones article. Now the entire nation is waying in on the insubordination of [...]

June 9, 2010

The Tao of Amigo

Advice for living from my best friend.

The world is your couch. Relax.

 Make friends and surround yourself with them.

 Scratch when you itch.

 There is no substitute for being cute.

 Be loyal and your friends and they will never desert you.

 There is no ailment that a good poop won’t help relieve.

 Don’t piddle on the path. Continue reading The Tao of Amigo

June 7, 2010

Sun, Summer and Color

In the early summer of 1970 while still a freshman in college, I participated in a racial/cultural experiment of my own making. Our dorm had the highest roof on campus and therefore a safe haven for young women who wanted to sunbathe in the underwear. It was before the advent of cute and colorful bras and panties so everyone sported underwear in immaculate cotton white. Black lingerie was for sluts and seduction, not always in that order. The problem was the rood was not that big and every girl on campus wanted to come there leaving little space for the residents of our dorm. One pesky group in particular came onto the roof in droves taking over the place as if their own.

I had never sunbathed in my life or seen the need to. I was black and had been raised to walk in the sun without sunscreen, using an umbrella to shade me from the heat only on the hottest of days. But my sister freshmen and I decided that there was one way to get rid of those unwanted on our roof. I would start sunbathing with them and we would see what happened.

Less than ten minutes after I stripped to my lily white undies the crowd started to thin out. When I pulled back the platinum band of the diamond wristwatch my grandfather had given me four years earlier and said: “Oh look. I’m browner already,”  and a pale white friend said “You are so lucky” more girls left. They never returned and I never cared. I did this more for my dorm than myself, but I after doing it I understood race and color much better. I wasn’t supposed to have diamonds and I wasn’t supposed to sit in the sun. Continue reading Sun, Summer and Color

May 19, 2010

Why Be Mean?

I am so naive.

I guess that’s what you’d call it, anyway. Naive, unrealistic, idealistic – I don’t know. I just don’t understand why some people can be so mean.

Meanness can come out of anywhere. Like if someone wants to come into your lane, but you’re already halfway across – do you slam on your brakes or keep going? Half the time the guy will pop up in your rearview mirror, gesturing as if you took away his god-given-right to that spot in traffic. Who is the offender there, the one who didn’t brake or the one who didn’t want to wait? What does it really matter in the long run? That’s just an example. It hasn’t happened to me in a while, but it has happened – from both sides.

Being mean starts in the schoolyard, I guess. We learn from an early age that kids who pick on others can often get away with not getting picked on themselves. Fortunately, there seems to be an influx of “anti-bullying” educational messages lately. Maybe, just maybe, there will be a smaller percentage of meanies in the next generation. Fingers crossed for that.

We age, we go into business. How do we get ahead? Well, there’s the painstakingly slow, honest approach that often takes hard work and causes frustration, or there’s the secrets-behind-the-hand approach, which often has a much faster result, but a short term benefit. Continue reading Why Be Mean?

May 19, 2010

Pointing fingers at others

Civility’s spotlight has lately expanded to include the overweight. We shake our heads and whisper to our “normal” friends, “It’s a shame that they don’t take care of themselves. I’d never let myself look like that.” We wag our fingers and click our tongues, satisfied that we are “better than that.” [...]

May 18, 2010

Somebody’s Watching You

It used to be that New York was open 24/7/365. But the years have worn the Big Apple to the core and somethings that were once popular to do have changed and gone the way of the dodo. You can still find someplace to find a bite to eat at 4am but the pickings are getting slimmer. Doors at clubs and eateries are watched to keep out undesirables. Some places are so afraid of problems they close early. And while the city boosts a rich cultural diversity there is always the problem that big brother is watching you. We still live in an age of profiling those who are different. Continue reading Somebody’s Watching You

May 14, 2010

It's Just Little Girls Dancing- But There's the Rub

I am about to be practical, historical and honest. All in the same post. I am really sick of hearing about the 8 and 9 year old girls clad in skimpy costumes dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. It has made the news, the polls, Youtube and things that make you go umm. Let’s be honest, it is just dancing and good dancing at that. But if it wasn’t for the advances we have in communications, law enforcement, the study of the mind and racism we wouldn’t be so concerned about little girls dancing in something a bit more than bathing suits. Continue reading It’s Just Little Girls Dancing- But There’s the Rub

May 14, 2010

When your friends can’t explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this

Pick Your Reason   10. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

  9. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the [...]

May 7, 2010

Being Four

Yesterday was my granddaughter Alicia’s fourth birthday. She had a party at school with a big cake and a tiara that her Auntie G (my youngest daughter Giselle) bought for her. Her parents were there with big smiles while I was at the dentist. But last night I got to see the remains of the birthday on the little confused face that beamed every time someone said “Happy Birthday.” Continue reading Being Four

April 30, 2010

A Measured Voice

Charles Dickens’ novels show the degradation and exploitation of the working poor, but his solution (as pointed out by Orwell) was that those in power would become better people and in their new-found compassion create a safer, healthier environment for the workers. This would extend even to educational opportunities and a chance to move up the ladder, but only so far, never far enough to threaten the existing order.

To counter this “benign ruler” point of view, some people in the early 1900s began to organize the working poor. Those most effective and trustworthy came from that background and took action. The work of Camus and Orwell springs from a real knowledge of poverty (Camus) or being an outsider among the privileged (Orwell). It must be pointed out that Camus took a dim view of Marx, and Orwell was horrified by Stalin’s Communism. But these two writers have held the greatest influence in the minds of Western thinkers who call themselves liberal. Camus went so far as to coin the term “libertarian socialist.” Continue reading A Measured Voice

April 28, 2010

So, now you're a writer.........

A very fancy WRITER, writ large in the imaginations of all who surround you.  Actually, you now have a job that everyone understands, or think they do.  It’s one of those easy-to-comprehend vocations that doesn’t bring blank stares at cocktail parties.  Like plumber or carpenter, it’s a job that is familiar to just about everyone.

Of course, in the same way that plumbing or carpentry baffle most people when they try it themselves, writing is easy to talk about but much harder to do.   Even worse, whereas you might make it to Master Plumber or Master Carpenter in 20 or so years of practice, none of us will probably ever make it to Master Writer.   In fact there is no “Master Writer,” even if you join a union.  No matter how many books or stories you write, or courses and degrees you gather, Master Writer will always elude you.

I think that’s mostly because there will always, always be another level to attain.  Let me tell you a story about that.

When I was growing up, my parents belonged to a yacht club.  We didn’t actually own a boat, but my parents are from the “club” generation and joined clubs and groups with wild abandon.  I spent many summer days whiling away my time by the club pool with the rest of the delightfully spoiled children, trying to get the girls to notice me while demonstrating the power of my mighty thews.  Although a lot more like wet spaghetti than those of Hercules, I worked them impressively and sauntered about the sky-blue concrete pool apron looking colossal.  Or, at least as colossal as my 102 pounds allowed. Continue reading So, now you’re a writer………

April 21, 2010

A Writer's Life for Me

Somebody else must clean the house. They must for I no longer want it to be my job. I don’t have time to worry about the daily trivialities of running a home. Besides the children are grown, one of them is in her own place and the other one cooks like a chef although cleaning is not something she does well. I have lost track of what it is I am supposed to do at home besides the one thing I do all day and into the night. I write. That’s what my life  right now is all about. Writing. Continue reading A Writer’s Life for Me

April 21, 2010

Bring Out The Silver, Honey!

When I was in my early 20′s, my grandma Graham finally agreed to move to an old folks’ home, or whatever the term is. So she emptied her centuries-old apartment of anything even vaguely interesting. Much anticipated squabbling between family members ensued, and I ended up with some silver. I actually didn’t want any silver, but my parents encouraged me to buy it from her. Read that again: BUY silver forks and knives and all that from my Grandma, for $3000 of my own money. Seriously? Oh, yes, Genevieve. It’s a great investment.

What did I know about investment? I’d been saving up for a car, but okay. If they said so.

I ended up with two very nice, heavy boxes filled with any kind of silver serving utensil you could ever dream of. I even have an Angel Food Cake slicer. I can’t even identify some of them, actually. Sadly, one of my wooden handled salad spoons split, but when I reason that the spoon was probably close to 150 years old, I can’t really complain. Dwayne’ll glue it. He’s good like that.

He’s also good at practicality. When we moved out here, many extraneous things got packed into wherever. The two boxes of silver were tucked under the stairs. The other day, he came home and said we should break out the silver and start using it.

“But honey!” said I, aghast. “That’s for special occasions!”

“Which are happening … when?” he asked. Continue reading Bring Out The Silver, Honey!

April 18, 2010

What Do the Jews Think?

What Do the Jews Think?


By Alan Caruba

The never-ending interest in what America’s Jews think about Barack Obama or Israel or anything else has always struck me as vastly disproportionate to their numbers.

American Jews are barely 2.2% of the U.S. population; numbering 6.4 million in 2008.
America, however, is home to 40% of the world’s population of Jews, about the same as Israel.

I suspect it has more to do with America’s Christian roots dating back to the beginning of the nation when the Mayflower Compact conceived of the pilgrim’s journey as one to build a new Jerusalem, a shining city on a hill.

The Internet ensures that tons of information flows into my office and among that tide are epistles from Israpundit.com. The latest was “An Open Letter to American Jews” and among its historic citations of Israel’s struggle to establish and maintain itself in the face of unremitting hostility was a very real concern about President Obama’s policies vis-à-vis Israel. Continue reading What Do the Jews Think?

April 10, 2010

Living to Write, Writing to Live

The weekends couldn’t come fast enough when I started working outside of the arts. I developed problems with my legs from sitting behind a desk so long. I gained weight from the treats in the office and the free carb-heavy lunches. I’d come home to a house and two kids. To dinner that needed cooking and laundry that needed washing. And then there was homework and school outings and life that wouldn’t stop. But the weekends, ah the weekends were mine for a few hours. I lived to write. And when things didn’t go well, I would write to live. Continue reading Living to Write, Writing to Live

April 7, 2010

Learning from mistakes

It’s unrealistic to assume you won’t screw-up now and then, especially if you’re trying new things. So without mistakes, there is no reason for adjustment, which means we’re not learning anything; therefore nothing changes. So, one could say mistakes are actually step one in improving our life. [...]

April 6, 2010

STROKES SUCK

Several months ago I woke up feeling odd (not strange for me). Got out of bed, took the old good morning pee, moved down the hall following the smell of coffee and then had to grab a gaudy table halfway down the hall to keep from falling.  Not normal but what the hell. I [...]

April 2, 2010

Together- Forever

My husband is on the phone giving advice to a younger man about love and marriage. We are supposed to be going out together in two hours. It will certainly be three. He tells his friend:”Minnette and I are completely opposites. she does things zip, zip, zip and asks me why am I moving so slowly. But man, it works. We are together, in part, because opposites attract.” Continue reading Together- Forever

April 1, 2010

The Rewards of Getting Older

This morning as I left the house for the office I got my ego rubbed by a neighbor. I merely said “Good Morning” and he responded with “Thanks for reminding me.” I assumed he meant about the morning and the possibility of the day to come but he was only hesitating before he completed his thought: “Thanks for reminding me that all the pretty women are older.” Then he smiled and said “Have a good day” and went on his way.

A pick up line? Maybe and for a women in my age range a good one. But I started thinking about something else:  the pride we put in looking younger instead of being happy with the rewards of aging. And aging can be beautiful. Continue reading The Rewards of Getting Older

March 26, 2010

Poverty, Food and Weight

Twenty dollars to feed a family of four dinner for a week. Steak is out, maybe one chicken if you’re lucky. Rice will be at every meal, if the price doesn’t go up again. And there won’t be any fruit when bananas, the only fruit your 3 year old will eat costs 79cents a pound.  What can you give your family but what is affordable? Canned beans, boxed mac and cheese, spam, hot dogs, iceberg lettuce to suffice for the $2 a pound string beans. For breakfast you give the kids a treat of generic brand bright colored cereal that costs $2 a bag, since boxed cereal is unaffordable. Some days they have it without milk- look how much that costs. But they seem happy with the food they are getting and you are happy that you can put food on the table until the school sends home a notification that your child is overweight and is having trouble breathing while playing. You know you need to stop supplementing his diet with inexpensive treats whenever he gets an A or whenever he can’t get to go to special places like his friends. You use food to make him happy but that happiness is killing him.

Continue reading Poverty, Food and Weight

March 25, 2010

No Comment

We have posters who enjoy the repartee of comments, in fact revel in the discussions that surround their’s, and other’s work.  Conversely we have some posters here who simply post and don’t seem to care if they get any comments at all.  They never respond to comments.  Now we have at least one poster who does not allow comments.

“No comments, please!”

What does that mean?  I’ve been thinking about it since the first “No Comments” post was put up a day ago.  I’m sure I don’t know.

The post is called “A new american civil war” and right at the top where it usually says “Leave a comment,”  instead it says “Comments are closed.”   That’s because at the bottom of the WordPress composing area there are two selection boxes that allow (or disallow) comments and track backs.

At first I though it was some kind of server problem as in “Uh, Oh.  SWI’s been hacked again and it’s going down.  Poor Bob…”  But no, Bob (our fearless editor-in-chief) checked and the poster meant to do that.  He wanted to post without allowing any comments to the piece itself.  I suppose we can post our own comments as separate pieces though. Continue reading No Comment

March 24, 2010

How NOT to Read Between the Lines

Over the past few weeks it has become obvious to me that some people reading these blogs are reading things into them that are not there. They are reading between the lines what they think someone might have meant then picking fights that aren’t there. Perhaps it isn’t a matter of needing a dictionary but of writing while angry and then not editing. Editing is something all of us should do before we post, especially if we are responding to something said that we didn’t like. And by editing I am not talking about spelling or grammatical mistakes. I am talking about truly understanding what you are responding to. Continue reading How NOT to Read Between the Lines

March 23, 2010

Math CAN be fun!

Yesterday, my daughter bounced off the bus, grinning. She ran to grab the dog and smother him with kisses, then looked up and said,

“Oh, hi, Mom. Guess what? I had the best day. We did math.”

What???

My elder daughter has ADD (yes, a label, but one that helped us learn how to understand her better) and has always had a paralyzing fear of math. She used to burst into tears at the word. Anything to do with math was overwhelming. I was never a mathematician by any stretch of the imagination. I never really cared how well she did in it, so long as she was trying. But to see her so torn up was horrible. It started in kindergarten/primary and continues today, now that she is twelve years old. She and I have spent hours together, working out the little figures, fitting them where they should go, with me constantly hoping to see the light of discovery brighten her eyes. And, usually, by the end of our session, she’s laughing. I’m exhausted, granted, but she’s happy. However, by the time she gets to her class the next day, she has forgotten everything and is miserable again. Continue reading Math CAN be fun!

March 16, 2010

A Lot of Good Things to Read

A friend of mine just responded to an email I sent about SWI and Night Publishing. Her first comment was “you have a lot out there to read”. My initial thought was does she mean that I have put too much out there about my writing and others and it is bad? Or is it good that people have a choice where to find good things to read? I decided she meant the latter. It is always better when you can find more to enjoy. Continue reading A Lot of Good Things to Read

March 12, 2010

All for Art

Today I honor my mother, Jacqueline Rochester, who passed away in her sleep 30 days ago. It has been a sad time, sadder than I anticipated: in theory, I’ve always believed that crossing over is a good thing, a new life, and we who remain earthbound should celebrate the dear departed’s new journey. [Yes, I believe in an everlasting life, but not the religious version.] However, for all our differences and squabbles over the years, I miss my mom.

I spent nearly five days rambling around her big house alone, taking care of a lot of loose ends and minutiae that led me to see her home and her life in a way I never had. For many years, all we children felt her home was filled with too much “stuff.” Now I began to see how she had surrounded herself with art because, in truth, she saw her life and artistic expression as one. The paintings, pottery, jewelry, interior decoration – it was all, as the French say,  l’art pour l’art. She was all of, by and for art. She made a passionate decision when she and my father separated to devote herself to creating art and living the life of an artist, to be a complete embodiment of all means of artistic expression. And she did.

And while she disdained many things – you could fairly have called her a snob – she was also an incredible entrepreneur and businesswoman. She didn’t just paint or sculpt or design clothing and cards, she sold them. She made a handsome living at it, even though the galleries took fifty percent of a painting’s price as their cut. Continue reading All for Art

March 11, 2010

Is there something wrong with this picture?

Today, like every weekday, I got in my car, after work, and head for home listening to NPR. I’ve been thinking about this for some time now and today, after hearing a piece on NPR about Kansas City, Missouri’s school board approving a plan to close 26 schools in one district and Cleveland, Ohio’s school board approving a plan to close or move 16 schools, I had to give voice to my thought which is, Our country is broken and bleeding. We are loosing our safety, loosing our jobs, our homes, our way of life and even our schools. Not only can’t we house and feed our children we can’t educate them either.  I’m at a loss.   I’m lost because I can’t see a fix.

This week, here in South Carolina, a Columbia city council member who has held office representing the same district (The City of Columbia’s District 2) for 27 years, resigned after pleading guilty to federal tax evasion. According to reports, the man failed to pay more than $25,000 in federal income taxes in 2004. Before this revelation we learned that two convicted felons were trying to run for mayor of the city of Columbia and we have a governor that was hiking the Appalachian Trail in Argentina. Continue reading s it just me or, is there something wrong with this picture?

March 9, 2010

The Culture of Step

Anyone who has ever set foot on a historically black college or university campus knows that there is something called stepping, the form of percussive dance where the entire body is used to produce intricate rhythms and sounds comprised of a mixture of rapid footsteps, spoken word, rhyme, hand claps, syncopation and synchronization. Stepping is generally performed in groups or teams and finds its origins in African foot dance. African American Greek-lettered fraternities and sororities across the nation have always taken pride in their step performances and often organized fierce competitions Alpha Kappa Alpha (ΆΚΆ), Alpha Phi Alpha, Delta Sigma Theta (Deltas), Iota Phi Theta, Kappa Alpha Psi (Kappas), Omega Psi Phi I (Que Dogs or the /Ques), Phi Beta Sigma, Zeta Phi Beta (Zetas), and Sigma Gamma Rho comprise what is known in the Black community as the “Divine Nine” and are celebrated for their innovative and sometime provocative step routines. Continue reading The Culture of Step

March 4, 2010

The Truth About Prejudice-You’ve got to be Taught

My youngest sister does not remember her first taste of prejudice but I do. It was an incident that shaped my understanding of race for many years to come. She was barely three years old so I must have been about 10, my other sister 7. My mother had taken her three girls to Rich’s Department Store in downtown Atlanta. We were all dressed alike in pink dresses and matching hair bows, something she often did for us. My baby sister toddled about while my mother looked at clothes until she came across another child her age, a little white girl with bouncy blonde curls. The two babies smiled to see each other, looked at each other for a long time and then hugged. The mothers, separated by color and the still evident prejudices of the south, smiled.

Then the girls decided to kiss each other on the lips and the mothers, high heels clicking across the tiled floor of the department store, rushed to pull them apart. They did not say ‘don’t do that’. They just smiled at their little daughters and took them a safe distance from each other. Enough was said by that action in 1962 Georgia. Holding the little ones’ hands and keeping them apart they were teaching the children prejudice. Continue reading The Truth About Prejudice-You’ve got to be Taught

March 1, 2010

Being Black and Proud

I am the descendant of slaves and white slave owners. I did not melt into the pot that is America. The pot melted into me. Back in the later 50s and early 60s no one I knew wanted to admit to that. To be a descendant of a slave meant you were less than a second class citizen, it meant being someone uncivilized from the jungles of Africa. It often meant being told by white people that you looked like monkeys and apes. Of course none of this is true but back then black baby boomers were taught that our history contained one thing- slavery. We didn’t want it to mean that our lives led no where because of this ancestry. For most of us to move on it meant pretending we had no history. Continue reading Being Black and Proud

February 25, 2010

A Call For Help Goes Unanswered.

A Call For Help Goes Unanswered.

by Tyree Harris

When Portland State student Brenda Johnson, who asked that her real name be withheld, traded in her old BlackBerry for a new BlackBerry Storm from a man named Robert she met on Craigslist, she was thrilled.

After she made the trade, she called a friend to see if it worked, but she couldn’t hear her friend through the speaker. Brenda tested it a few more times, but she still couldn’t hear a word. She sent Robert a text complaining about the phone. She had been scammed.

Later, Brenda received a message questioning her about the phone. She asked if it was Robert texting her, and the sender replied yes. They then agreed to meet up at the mall to trade back. She arrived about 40 minutes later.

A girl approached her and asked her if she was looking for Robert. Brenda replied yes, and the girl explained to her that the person she was texting was actually her, and that Robert stole that phone from her. Shocked, Brenda asked her to identify the phone, but she couldn’t.

The girl told Brenda that she reported the phone stolen and that a detective was investigating the case. Brenda told her to call the police so they could clarify the situation and verify that the phone was stolen. But the girl refused to call them, stating that they wouldn’t do anything. Continue reading A Call For Help Goes Unanswered.

February 17, 2010

Lesson learned

As I watched the drama, it dawned on me that this process of learning does not end when we move away from our parents. It is a sequence that presents itself continually: Frustration. Lesson. Acceptance. Progress. Repeat cycle as necessary until learned. [...]

February 14, 2010

Dreams

The heart is complex. Even more complicated are the various emotions that work within it. One moment, it is full of anticipation, its optimism quite infectious. The next, it is laden with heavy bleakness arising from shattered hopes and dreams. At such times, it is not strange to find the Dreamer thoroughly misunderstood by [...]

February 4, 2010

A Positive Attitude for a Gray Day

Don’t look down I tell myself as I step out into the snow. Down is where the muck is, where the dirt is. Down is where it was a blanket of white last night and now hours past dawn it is a sea of dark dog poop, rivers of urine and tossed debris. It is best on days like these to keep your head to the sky. Continue reading A Positive Attitude for a Gray Day

January 30, 2010

The SWI Question of the Day (1-30-10)

Do you think their will be a cure for HIV/Aids?  What should – or could – be done to prevent it?

We welcome your thoughts and comments.

January 29, 2010

Insignia of My Psyche

The complexity of my mind is a kaleidoscope of colors, blending together with my moods, melting with my personality.

In the state of darkness, the murky browns and grays swirl like a fog, encroaching on solitude

Happiness explodes in a rainbow of bright hues and illumination, vivid and rich in their depths, bursting forth [...]

January 26, 2010

The First of all Virtues – Part 2

The First of all Virtues – Part 2 by Lloyd Lofthouse

“Hey, old man, you can’t stop us. You can’t take our picture because it’s dark.” Those were the words I heard after dark one night during the summer of 2008 from a pack of kids taunting me as they raced in and out of [...]

January 16, 2010

The Haitian Earthquake and Religious Zealotry.

In retrospect though, I have since found myself sympathizing with every religious extremist. My sympathy arises from the knowledge that victims of religious dogmatism and bigotry are as hapless and pathetic as the victims of natural disasters. [...]

January 11, 2010

The Rainbow Man

The Rainbow Man

 by Bob Grant

Met the Rainbow Man the other day,

as I was passing on my way.

Was yellow, and red, and green, and blue

Indigo –violet – orange it’s true.

Was it was tough being colors a plenty?

No different for him than it is for many.

Didn’t matter what [...]

December 24, 2009

When Loss Seems Unfair

Some days it doesn’t seem fair. I walk past a picture of my father and suddenly it hits me that he is no longer on this earthin this form withus. It isn’t right, I tell myself. Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were discussing movies that we bothliked to watch or that I had to get off the phone with him because he was looking at, for the ten thousandth time, Stephen King’s “The Langoliers”? Was it 31 years ago that he called me only hours after I had delivered my first child, his first grandchild, and told me that I would be a mother forever? It is something I have never forgotten and it’s hard to forget him. Continue reading When Loss Seems Unfair

December 20, 2009

Taking The First Step

My daughter Elizabeth and I attended an open house at the college she decided to attend. The dean spoke to the students and posed this riddle to them. “Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. Question: How many are left?” We looked at each other thinking – duh – that’s pretty obvious, there’s only one left – but here is what he said. [...]

December 15, 2009

Where Do You Stand?

Position is paramount in importance.  I don’t mean social position or even financial position.  Those are superficial indicators at best.  Really knowing who you are brings enormous power and peace.

For example, when my daughter, Elizabeth, was a toddler, my husband owned a restaurant.  While she was very well-behaved, she just knew her daddy owned the place and she walked in with a toddler-sized attitude of authority.  Without a moment’s hesitation, she’d go behind the counter and even back into the kitchen to find her daddy and get a cookie.  She never did this anywhere else.  However, she was the owner’s daughter, and even at her tender age, knowing this filled her with assurance.  She had no doubt that she had every right to go in the back and find her father and get whatever she needed.  She knew where she stood.

Not too many of us fully comprehend the privileged position we have in Jesus.  How awesome to realize that because of Him, you are a child of God.   He is your “Dad,” the King, so that makes you a son or daughter of the King – a prince or princess.  You are royalty.  Get hold of this truth, and it will revolutionize not only your self-image, but your entire life.  You can approach His throne in prayer with the same boldness and confidence Elizabeth demonstrated in seeking out her daddy. Continue reading Where Do You Stand?

December 8, 2009

Red Lipstick

The number on the tube says 763 but I remember back before the company decided to be politically correct that it was called Indian Red 763. It is a gorgeous color, a bright firm red that looks good on lips attached to medium to dark brown skin. On lighter skin it would bring out the pale but that’s what some women want. Red lipstick attracts attention, makes lips the focal part of your face and for some it makes them even more kissable. It is a great color for the holidays, for the winter and for me, thoughts on becoming a woman. Continue reading Red Lipstick

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