“Stall an airplane at the wrong time, and it’s a crash. Stall it at the right time, and it’s a safe landing.” [...]
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September 8, 2011
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Communications, Community, Creative Writing, Current Events, Daily Living, Earth, Entertainment, Family, Free Speech, Freedom, Freedom of Speech, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Men's Issues, Motivation, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Teachers, The Writer's Corner, Thought, Travel, Uncategorized, Weather, Women's Perspective, Working Women, Writing Essentials
 4 comments May 14, 2011
Posted by Carla René in: Aging, America, Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Community, Creative Writing, Daily Living, Democrat, Entertainment, Family, Free Speech, Freedom, Freedom of Speech, Freelance Author, General Topics, Government, Humor, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Politics, Relationships, Republican, Social Aspects, Social Issues, Sociology, Television, The Writer's Corner, Thought, Women's Perspective, Writing Essentials
12 comments And I just couldn’t stop looking at…his…um…. His nose was just so BIG for his face. It made you wonder how he was ever able to wrap a tissue round that thing when he sneezed. Luckily, though, he had lots of women hovering over him in the photos to help with that. [...] May 7, 2011
Posted by Carla René in: Aging, America, Attitude, Books, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Daily Living, Entertainment, Family, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Relationships, Social Issues, Sociology, The Writer's Corner, Thought, Uncategorized, Women's Perspective, Women's Rights, Working Women, Writing Essentials
4 comments
This idea of couples dating has always fascinated me. When I was married, my husband and I did it. It seems that anytime we find someone we want to share our life with, the first thing we do is find people we can ignore them for. My parents did the same thing. When I was four and my sister a year-old, I remember this one couple that used to visit my parents regularly. Howard and Mona. Why I remember this from age four, I’ll never know. Perhaps it’s the peculiar way my parents began to behave once they had all become good friends and had a standing weekly “date”. I don’t know–maybe my parents were afraid of commitment. Howard had dark hair and wore Buddy Holly glasses and checkered pants–a fashionista apparently light-years ahead of his time. Even at four, I knew that man was just one science experiment away from re-discovering gravity. He worked with my dad in the local machine shop, so it was a natural progression that they would begin to socialise with their wives. And at first, my mother liked Mona. Continue reading Howard and Mona
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March 25, 2011
Posted by Carla René in: Aging, America, Attitude, Books, Children, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Communications, Community, Creative Writing, Current Events, Entertainment, Family, Free Speech, Freedom of Speech, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Relationships, Satire, Television, The Writer's Corner, Thought, Uncategorized, Women's Perspective, Writing Essentials
2 comments
“51, start an IV with D5W, ringers lactate and transport as soon as possible.” “10-4.” “What did he say?” asked my six-year-old sister, who wasn’t half paying attention. That annoyed the heck out of me. “You annoy the heck out of me,” I’d say with as much indignity as a brainy geek with glasses and Cherokee/German nose could muster, then go back to my living fantasy, watching two unknown men save lives, and dreaming of the day (hopefully soon) when I would fall mysteriously ill and be so close to death that no one would be able to figure out my ailment, and they’d have to call in these mysterious new breed of men, these paramedics. “Paramedics.” I would say it over and over, and feel a pre-pubescent thrill attack my spine each time. It just sounded so…official, and bigger than anything I’d experienced in my little life so far. Continue reading Johnny and Roy
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March 16, 2011
Posted by Carla René in: Advice, America, Attitude, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Current Events, Economic Crisis, Economics, Entertainment, Environment, Free Speech, Freedom, Freedom of Speech, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Social Aspects, Social Issues, The Economy, The Writer's Corner, Thought, Uncategorized, Working Women, World Issues, Writing Essentials
4 comments We’ve all seen them: Beggars along the side of a highway at a popular intersection holding signs that say something stupidly profound like, “Will work for food,” or my favourite, “Will work for cable.” And when I lived in DC, it was “Will work for you if your windscreen is dirty.” They loved to stand at the corner while you were waiting to merge onto the Beltway at Crystal City. They never allowed you to decide if your windscreen was dirty, they simply started to clean it, and then subjected you to a verbal onslaught if you didn’t want to pay them for their unwarranted service. Bureaucrats. After losing both my jobs in December of 2008 due to illness, I was forced to resort to applying for unemployment. Thankfully, this ritual isn’t as complicated as it once was the last time I needed to apply back in 1985. Then, you were forced to stand in long and tiring lines with the dregs of humanity that you usually only bumped into at the DMV, in which case it wasn’t so much a waiting game as a reunion. Now, they’ve removed the human element by allowing us to apply online. For which I was thankful. But it’s not all roses and tea parties. Having to wait constantly for that next cheque to come in is hard. In fact, I’m the reason my mailman carries a gun. The really stupid thing about being on unemployment (besides the mind-numbing 1/4 of your original salary they expect you to live on), is you spend more time fighting for your benefits than you ever did on a real job. If there’s ever a problem (and there usually is), then you must haul your angry ass down to an office that doesn’t even have GPS coordinates and can only be entered with a password found on the inside of a cereal box and a decoder ring worn by the kid from A Christmas Story. Continue reading Will Work For Unemployment
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March 9, 2011
Posted by Carla René in: America, Attitude, Biography & Memoir, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Community, Creative Writing, Current Events, Economic Crisis, Editorials, Entertainment, Free Speech, Freedom, Freedom of Speech, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Motivation, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Satire, Social Aspects, Social Issues, The Writer's Corner, Thought, Uncategorized, Women's Perspective, Women's Rights, Working Women, World Issues, Writing Essentials
8 comments
On Monday morning, January 9, 2009, I officially moved from my quaint little apartment with the neat washer and dryer in my closet that smelled of cheeze, into my very spacious Volvo, that also smelled of cheeze. I never thought I’d be in such a situation, but then again, I always thought Charlie Sheen would stay sane forever, too. But follow along. I got to thinking about how we view this phenomenon of being without a home. It’s SUCH a social club. It’s real estate snobbery in its purest form. If you have no home, then you’re suddenly asked to leave the imaginary clique, and that hurts. People begin treating you differently. If you have no money and nowhere to be for the day, it’s called being homeless. But if you have money and nowhere to be, it’s called Society. The only difference between myself and someone from Beverly Hills is where we wash out our underwear. I was at least lucky enough to have had my car. There are some advantages to it: First, it’s private. Second, you have a kick-ass stereo system, and third, you’re not expected to clean up after yourself.
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February 27, 2011
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Community, Creative Writing, Current Events, Earth, Entertainment, Environment, Free Speech, Freedom, Freelance Author, General Topics, Geopolitical Events, Heroes, Humor, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Motivation, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Satire, Social Aspects, Social Issues, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized, World Issues, Writing Essentials
4 comments  The premise is simple: Pay the producers boucoup bucks to scour the Earth (read=Google) to find people who, due to their bravery and penchant for adrenaline, have found themselves in inexplicable situations in which all the odds point to the fact that they simply will not live through the event long enough to be rescued. [...] February 4, 2011
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Community, Creative Writing, Current Events, Energy, Entertainment, Food, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Marketing, Nutrition, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Satire, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized, Wellness, Women's Perspective, Writing Essentials
5 comments
Yesterday I decided to be brave, jump on the sheep bandwagon, and try 5-Hour Energy. Normally I resist the mob mentality when hearing super-hyped products such as this, but, seeing as how I sometimes suffer with debilitating fatigue from my Fibromyalgia and Systemic Lupus, I tossed caution and five bucks to the wind, and leapt. I had no idea what to expect, but was not heartened merely by reading the myriad of warnings printed on the label. These are meant to be an enticement? Is this really a successful marketing ploy? Let’s break them down, shall we? The first disclaimer is this: Contains caffeine comparable to the leading premium coffee. Hmmn. The first acerbic witticism that comes to mind is, then why hasn’t Starbucks jumped on this bit of street-smart savvy promotion and pegged their morning cup for what it really is: Jet fuel? Moving on. Limit caffeine products to avoid nervousness, sleeplessness, and occasional rapid heartbeat. Continue reading 5-Hour Cocaine, more like it
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January 12, 2011
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Books, Christmas, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Community, Creative Writing, Current Events, Entertainment, Family, Fiction, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Relationships, Satire, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
4 comments What is it about spending that “can’t ever get it back again” quality time with family during Holiday that always makes us feel the need to bathe when it’s over? Don’t you so wish it were a reality show on VH-1 where Dr. Drew offers free counseling and copious amounts of alcohol for those who survive it? I can see it now: HOLIDAY REHAB WITH DR. DREW (Viewer discretion from your children is advised) If it were a single, isolated incident that occurred once within a ten-year period, then I could understand it: A good shot of Jack Daniels and it would be done. But, that’s never the case. Nope. By the time you pile the 4.7 children and the dog and the goat and the nanny and the hamster into your ’67 AMC Pacer with the break-away read-end, and peel away from your parents, the first thought that crosses your mind is how quickly you can file an order of emancipation to keep this from ever happening again. When you weigh the sleepless nights, the arguing, the crying, the excessive drinking…and then the pain your wife must be feeling, is it all worth it? Continue reading Holiday Rehab
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November 24, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Current Events, Economic Crisis, Editorials, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Literature, Marketing, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Publishing, The Economy, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
2 comments This posting started out about how much I hadn’t been certain that I’d ever see this novel to fruition. But it quickly moved to the realm of, this novel has been with me through 9 very difficult years of nothing but changes–changes, that, in fact, experts say you should never go through more than one of in a year. And while one or two events happened a few years ago, the truth is, most of it happened to me within the last 23-months. In 2001, one snowy evening near Christmas, the phrase “The snow crunched mercilessly beneath her boots,” came from out of nowhere and went whizzing through my head. And the more I entertained it, the more it took on a life of its own, with a movie suddenly unfolding before me. I immediately began writing everything I saw. I found an online critique group and began posting snippets of the work. After one particularly insensitive arse told me I should never pick up a pen again, I began to get more constructive comments for how to make my little victorian tale a very effective novel. I began to learn about writing technique, effective storytelling, how to create tension and release within a scene, character and story arcs, POVs, narrative voice, strong dialogue, always making your characters active rather than allowing life to happen to them, starting your story from the point of conflict and never allowing yourself to use heavy scene-setting and descriptions when you first begin, using only as many words as you need to tell the tale. Continue reading Musings on the release of a novel
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November 20, 2010
As you will notice if you visit my blog, I now have a spiff new NaNoWriMo word war widget in the upper left corner of my screen. WrytingBear is my writing buddy who threw down the gauntlet earlier this week when he realised I was suddenly beginning to catch up to his word count. He may have thrown it down, I simply chose to write about it. “It’s ON baby, like mascara on Prince.” That’s what I told him. About an hour ago, as you can see from the real time widget, I hit my 40,000 word mark. My original plan was to push through to 70,000 words. I’d still like to see that happen, but I’ve been so tired lately, that I’m afraid my first instinct will be to just stop when I hit 50,000 and leave it at that. I can’t do that–I’ve already got folks waiting on the mss. During this week when I was churning out word after word, and thus, kicking WrytingBear’s arse (and it was gravy, really), I began to realise something about this process: In my zeal to metaphorically give him a beat down as we were running neck and neck in word counts, I ended up writing 15,000 words in 4 days. That’s more than twice my regular pace, and besides churning out crap I might not be able to use, I completely fried my brain and I was SO completely worn out yesterday that I refused to write and took the day off. Continue reading NaNoWriMo–Day Twenty, and…Cyanide, Anyone?
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November 19, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Current Events, Fiction, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Interview, Life Experiences, Literature, Marketing, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Publishing, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized, Writing Essentials
Leave a comment  I did a great and funny interview, discussing my short-story collection, Zen In The Art of Absurdity. The Indie Spotlight was begun by Edward C. Patterson and Gregory Banks as a completely free way to highlight and showcase independent authors, so please do stop by and drop a comment in thanks for their wonderful efforts. As a thanks, you get treated to one of the collection’s stories, “See Dick and Jane Beat The Hell Out of Jack and Jill” for FREE! Continue reading Today’s Featured Author at The Indie Spotlight
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November 16, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Books, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Community, Creative Writing, Current Events, Energy, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Literature, Marketing, Motivation, Opinion, Personal Experiences, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized, Writing Essentials
2 comments  I designed this because I'm in a Xmas mood As we walk along Planet Earth, we do a lot of stupid crap from which obviously no one is exempt. We run out on dates at the last minute because we didn’t realise the long line across his forehead was one, big eyebrow, and not the shadow from a ball cap. We measure our entire lives in dress sizes: “I’m losing ten to fit into my prom dress.” Then, “I’m losing ten to fit into my wedding dress.” Me? I’m losing ten to fit into my burial dress. And finally, and this is my favourite, we buy a snack of a Snickers bar and a Diet Coke. But the one thing I’m seeing a lot of, and am beginning to get a wee bit hot under my collar about, is that those of us who are participants of this year’s NaNoWriMo, are now getting burned for such participation by “real” writers. I’ve spent two days of this week alone addressing half-considered comments on another forum in which I’m a contributing author, from writers too proud to admit they don’t know everything there is to know under the sun about writing. Or, about Nano. “Mandatory word counts? Ah–that would then explain the myriad sub-par material lining bookstore shelves.” This paraphrased comment from one writer. Continue reading NaNoWriMo–Day Sixteen, and STILL having to defend it??
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November 15, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Advice, Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Comments & Discussion, Community, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Literature, Marketing, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Publishing, Relationships, Satire, Television, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
6 comments  Father Ted kicks Bishop Brennan up the Arse That’s right fans and Twits: I’m kicking bishops and taking names. I just LOVE the Britcom Father Ted, and since one of my chapters from this evening introduced my own Bishop Ted Macguire, a MAJOR antagonist to my Father Jack, well, I thought this photo rather fitting. By the way, did I tell you I have procured special permission from the Graham Linehan to not only reference Father Ted in my novel, but to also quote parts of the series? I never, ever get starry-eyed over famous people. Mostly because to some I am still famous from my television and stage work, but also because the friends I’ve worked with and are colleagues of, are, to me, simply brilliant and talented friends, but to the rest of the world, they’re Kip Wingers, Brett Cullens, James Strausses, and yes…Graham Linehans. However, I was so honoured that Graham not only gave me permission, but SPOKE to me, that I nearly fainted when he replied to my Tweet. I felt like I’d just met the Pope himself. Continue reading NaNoWriMo–Day Fifteen and Kicking It Up The Arse
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November 13, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Life Experiences, Literature, Motivation, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Publishing, Satire, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
3 comments What do I constantly preach here, other than a story should begin at the story, and there is never enough conflict? That’s right–that you should shut up your internal editor until after you’ve completed your first draft. Engage that sucker too soon and you’re setting yourself up for nothing more than a hefty dose of writer’s block. So, will someone kindly tell me what the hell my problem is, then? Every time I sit down to write another chapter, all I can hear is my mum snarking away at me from my right shoulder: “This is crap. It isn’t funny, and you write comedy. What the hell were you thinking? Macy’s is hiring; get a real job. You do know, you’re a fecking mad eejit, don’t you?” Well, okay. Mum never used the word fecking and she wasn’t Irish, but follow along. Usually when I sit down to write comedic essays or short-stories, I make them funny as I go. And they come very easy to me. I don’t think I’ve ever had to go into labour for a joke with such pains it feels as if I’m blowing a Saint Bernard out my ass. Can’t remember ever writing a piece in which I needed an epidural. Continue reading NaNoWriMo–Day Thirteen and in Labour
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November 10, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Accountability, Advice, Attitude, Books, Children, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Communications, Community, Current Events, Editorials, Education, Entertainment, Family, General Topics, Governance, Homeland Security, Internet, Journalism, Legal, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Politics, Publishing, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
5 comments
I will make this short and sweet: http://www.amazon.com/Pedophiles-Guide-Love-Pleasure-ebook/dp/B0049U4CF6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1289435393&sr=1-1 Amazon, when I called them on it during a phone call about an hour ago, refused to take down the book, citing censorship. Shouldn’t there be a line between common censorship, which rests only on the opinion of the public based on subjective taste, and [...] November 9, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Books, Communications, Entertainment, Fiction, Humor, Literature, Marketing, Motivation, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
Leave a comment When I finally put the manuscript away last night at 4 a.m., I’d written a total of 6,734 words, thus completing chapters three, four and five. My total word count thus far: 11,807. In one week. ONE.
I’m beginning to get tired (I’m a very light sleeper and hear the least little noise in the house), but have 2,500 words to complete before bed this evening, and I intend to keep the pace. It seems that switching my writing location has really made this much easier. And I’m also now hitting parts of the story that do not require quite as much research–I’m simply free to play with the characters and let them run into scenes and burning buildings where they may. I will say, that it’s not funny yet, but that’s completely normal. When you’re writing comedy, you don’t shoot for funny first–you shoot for a plausible story. Then you spend your re-writes making passes that concentrate on adding more jokes into the mix. In the meantime, I have what’s called “placeholder jokes;” an unfunny line that merely marks the place where a real joke will go when it’s time. Continue reading NaNoWriMo–Day Nine, and getting tired
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November 9, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Comments & Discussion, Communications, Creative Writing, Current Events, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Literature, Marketing, Motivation, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Publishing, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
Leave a comment Word count totals so far: 11,135. I’m still behind the average, but have now knocked out 5,547 today alone, with another thousand to come later tonight, thus finishing chapter five. Now that I’ve changed my normal writing place from the sofa with a cat and a laptop to my desktop where I have readily-available [...] November 6, 2010
Nothing happened yesterday, anyway. OH, except I put up some new Christmas lights around my desk. I usually save decorating till my birthday on November 11 (make note: I like Snickers and Broccoli), but just got hit with the festive mood early. Anyway, so yes, I spent yesterday goofing off again, and trying to amp myself back up for writing. And today, I did it. I finished chapter two, thus writing another 2,400 words, and am now pushing ahead through chapter three, with an attempt to finish by tonight so I’m not too far behind on my NaNo word count. Instead of NaNo’s requisite 50,000 in 30-days, I’m shooting for a complete novel at 80,000. I’ve often wondered during the last few days the point of pushing ahead with a novel that obviously isn’t very good when you first hork it up. And then I remembered all the trouble I had with continuity on The Gaslight Journal (Making its Kindle debut on Thanksgiving Day!), and found myself grieving because I hadn’t written that in close to one sitting and just kept pushing through with it. Continue reading NaNoWriMo–Day Six, just skipped right over day five
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November 3, 2010
Well, I gave it my best shot. Today was even worse than yesterday. After I made my blog post, I at least was able to write another 1,200 words, but for what? The comments came in this morning on the first chapter for critique that I’d posted yesterday, and the consensus? Bin it, nothing [...] November 2, 2010
You probably can’t tell I’m now sleep-deprived. I know–I’m a rock and hide my feelings well. Well kiddies, day two hasn’t been quite as stellar an experience as day one. Last night after posting my blog, I went right to work and cranked out a 2,200 word short-story that I have some waiting for, [...] October 15, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Book Marketing Online, Book Review, Books, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, Humor, Literature, Marketing, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
Leave a comment  This coming Tuesday, October 19, will see the release of a new horror novel entitled, DRACULAS (A Novel Of Terror), as well as the end of a unique marketing experiment that, according to Blake Crouch, has never been attempted before. [...] October 5, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Advice, Attitude, Books, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Current Events, Editorials, Entertainment, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Internet, Journalism, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Marketing, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
2 comments So, I typed up my little tale, and sent it off. The confirmation e-mail said I’d hear something in 4 weeks. [...] September 30, 2010
I got knocked on my ass again just a few moments ago. Seems to be a regular occurrence lately, and I have the ass-scars to prove it. While involved in a heavy discussion for the last few days–wait, more like a knock-down-drag-out-here, hold my beer conversation–the guy who was gladly engaging me began taking things to a personal level and attacking my character. Mind you, the conversation began as a discussion about what to say to a writer who gets his feelings hurt with a less-than-glowing critique. Bitterly, I say, “how appropos.” But follow along. It wasn’t until after I dragged this person back on topic to writing, that he suddenly threw in a critique of The Gaslight Journal. Now, understand, he obviously couldn’t be bothered to actually make his suggested edits in the comments section beneath the book. Nope. He had to drag them out into the open in a thread that was already 23 pages long, and then do it in such a way as to make me look like the idiot I probably am, but deny ever being, as I’m fully human. The image came to mind of that of an Alpha male chimpanzee. Part of his job as the Alpha, is to literally smack down the females in a bid to make them become submissive. And while I am endeared to both apes and chimpanzees, I don’t really like the being smacked-down part, especially by a guy who freely admits he’s been unable to land a publishing deal with a DTB publisher, and so he’s resorted to selling eBooks on Amazon. While my accomplishments have been small, compared to many of my author friends, I at least can claim publication in both DTB and DTP. Continue reading Just how much weight *should* we give a critique?
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September 20, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Accountability, Advice, Attitude, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Communications, Community
10 comments Did I really look that threatening with my pink Chuck Taylors and my aqua-green hair?? I guess I did–maybe I’d missed the Homeland Security Memo with a BOLO for a green-haired nose-ringed 5’1″ cutie with the fashion sense of a troll in pink Chuck Taylors whose special terrorism skill involved explosives and cross-stitch. [...] September 15, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Books, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Current Events, Education, Family, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized, Writing Essentials
2 comments I sat down to talk about writing non-fiction comedic essays, but was so uninspired to do so (how easy is it to bore yourself?), that I’ve decided to forgo that lecture and discuss what’s been brewing in my mind now for about a week: Halloween.
I’ve always loved the imaginary aspect of being on and interacting with a set. I mean, think about it: you can decorate it any way you want to, hardly ever have to clean up after yourself, and you don’t have to worry about heating costs in the winter. Continue reading Do You Think Johnny Depp Would Live in My Living Room?
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September 8, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Accountability, Advice, African-American, Attitude, Biography & Memoir, Book Marketing Online, Book Review, Books, Business, Business Management, Cancer, Cap and Trade, Children, China, Climate Change, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Communications, Communism, Community, Computers, Congress, Contributor's Audio/Video, Creative Writing, Current Events, Democracy, Democrat, Diet, Economic Crisis, Economics, Education, Energy, Entertainment, Environment, Environmental Issues, Faith, Family, Fiction, Finance, Foreign Affairs, Foreign Relations, Freedom, Freelance Author, General Topics, Geopolitical Events, Global Warming, Governance, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Healthcare, Heroes, History, Homeland Security, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Internet, Internet Advice, Interview, Islam, Journalism, Latino & Hispanic, Legal, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Literature, Marketing, Marriage, Medical, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Mexico, Military, Minorities, Morality, Motivation, Music, Native American, Nature/Wildlife, Non-Fiction, Nutrition, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Philosophical Genres, Poetry, Politics, Publishing, Question of the Day, Recovery, Relationships, Religion, Republican, Rhyme, Satire, Self-Help, Sex, Short Stories, Social Aspects, Social Classes, Social Issues, Sociology, Spirituality, Sports, Technology, Television, Terrorism, The Economy, The Media, The Pundit's Corner, The Writer's Corner, Travel, Uncategorized, Website Instructions, Weight loss, Wellness, Women's Perspective, Women's Rights, Working Women, Workplace, World Issues, Writing Essentials
7 comments My apologies, peeps: I’ve been rogue lately. Was knocked on my butt last week with chest pains and shortness of breath. When I got home from picking up a few groceries on Wednesday evening at 7:30, I sat down to check my mail like I usually do, when I suddenly felt sharp pain in bands across my back and I was having noticeable trouble breathing. My breath was coming in short gasps. My roommate gave me a couple of muscle relaxers, as I thought it might be from my Fibromyalgia, but after thirty minutes I had no relief, and so she decided to take me to hospital. I HATE going to hospitals. If you’re not clearly dying or decapitated, then they make you sit in the ER forever; although, I’ve known a few who lost limbs and still weren’t considered “trauma”. My minimum that night was 2 hours before being seen by a doctor, and another 2 once I had been seen to await my test results. The highlight of the evening had to come when they needed to do a CT scan for blood clots or tears in the aorta, but they couldn’t get a vein for the IV. Finally, after yet another chest x-ray and blood work, they sent me home. Continue reading I’d bitch about health care, but I’m too sick.
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August 24, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Accountability, Advice, African-American, Attitude, Biography & Memoir, Book Marketing Online, Book Review, Books, Business, Business Management, Cancer, Cap and Trade, Children, China, Climate Change, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Communications, Communism, Community, Computers, Congress, Contributor's Audio/Video, Creative Writing, Current Events, Democracy, Democrat, Diet, Economic Crisis, Economics, Education, Energy, Entertainment, Environment, Environmental Issues, Faith, Family, Fiction, Finance, Foreign Affairs, Foreign Relations, Freedom, Freelance Author, General Topics, Geopolitical Events, Global Warming, Governance, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Healthcare, Heroes, History, Homeland Security, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Internet, Internet Advice, Interview, Islam, Journalism, Latino & Hispanic, Legal, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Literature, Marketing, Marriage, Medical, Men's Issues, Mental Health, Mexico, Military, Minorities, Morality, Motivation, Music, Native American, Nature/Wildlife, Non-Fiction, Nutrition, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Philosophical Genres, Poetry, Politics, Publishing, Question of the Day, Recovery, Relationships, Religion, Republican, Rhyme, Satire, Self-Help, Sex, Short Stories, Social Aspects, Social Classes, Social Issues, Sociology, Spirituality, Sports, Technology, Television, Terrorism, The Economy, The Media, The Pundit's Corner, The Writer's Corner, Travel, Uncategorized, Website Instructions, Weight loss, Wellness, Women's Perspective, Women's Rights, Working Women, Workplace, World Issues, Writing Essentials
Leave a comment Begun back sometime in 2001, this book was originally a fluke of an idea… [...] August 21, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Book Marketing Online, Book Review, Books, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, Humor, Non-Fiction, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized, Writing Essentials
Leave a comment Announcing my two newest releases:  Book Cover Description: Bill can’t find a writing space to save his wilting life. While in Canada, Sam learns to “go convert” himself; back in the States, mum and dad are playing hide the Azalea, Delores can’t keep her father’s arse covered to get any work done, a pack of wild Kens are hurtling toward the atmosphere, and dad is sitting in his car picking his ears with his keys. Often compared to Sedaris (mostly by herself), this collection will make you sick…with laughter. Original cover artwork by me.
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August 20, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, Humor, Life Experiences, Literature, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Publishing, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
Leave a comment Today, I got greedy, and went back for more. Oh, the feeling of sneaking into my browser at 5 a.m. when no one else’s up and looking. Knowing the rest of the world is asleep and you’re sitting there, in your footie pajamas, alone and all sneaky. I had to have one more peek. [...] August 18, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Literature, Marketing, Personal Experiences, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized, Writing Essentials
Leave a comment We’re so focused on failure, that we never prepare ourselves for what to do when it finally works. Maybe that’s the reason some self-sabotage themselves before ever becoming successful. They never prepared themselves mentally for handling the situation when they finally hit it big. And mental preparation is needed for success. Just ask those folks who are busy being successful. But they probably won’t have time to return your call. [...] August 15, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Current Events, Entertainment, Fiction, General Topics, History, Humor, Life Experiences, Lifestyle, Personal Experiences, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized
Leave a comment  I had a killer audition today.
At 11:00 a.m., I called Nathan and told him I wasn’t there yet–that I would be a little late. He assured me it would be okay. But I felt like crap about it. I met him at a huge warehouse that used to be a local department store, with its windows blackened. His was the only vehicle in the parking lot, which made me a little nervous, but never-the-less, I went in anyway. I began by filling out some paperwork, and then we talked for probably an hour. He was happy to share his concept with me. Continue reading Tales from the CriBt.
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August 12, 2010
Did I say “wow?” Then I should have. This afternoon, after getting back to my computer and checking e-mails, blog posts, Facebook posts and catching up here on recent comments, I took one guy’s advice and went over to another site where I could post the first 10,000 words of my upcoming Victorian novel. After being signed up and posted for 20 minutes, already I was getting positive feed-back and had my title shelved on several bookshelves. It’s a thing over there–if you like a book, you “back” it, which puts it on display on your bookshelf. If enough people back your book, then I guess Harper Collins takes a serious look at it for editing purposes. I dunno–haven’t read the entire FAQ: it was as long as my first three chapters–but I guess if they like your work enough, they could option it for publication. It’s certainly a “novel” (Get it?) approach. However. I hadn’t been there ten hours, and already I’ve met a smart-ass who thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to retaliate and annihilate you if you didn’t give glowing reviews on their own book. And you know me well enough by now, to know that I didn’t. I COULDN’T! Of course, I was very diplomatic about it, as I can be as politic as the next guy. But here were just a few of the problems: Continue reading Wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow-oh-wow-oh-wow.
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August 11, 2010
Some have it, and some don’t. Ever get sick of hearing this? Sure, because it rings true–I know you. But how does one really gauge if they “have” it or not? We grow up listening to the nice encouragement of our families, friends and sick strangers who don’t know better. And for a time that’s all we need, really; just to know that the people who love us, love what we do as well. But what about when we’re older? I got a nice, hot slap in the face today when I read my first review on Amazon. As you can guess, it wasn’t promising. Lessee, how did it go? Oh, right: “…$.50 would’ve been too much to have paid.” Continue reading I Think this is one of those Hideously Disfiguring Disappointments I Warned you About
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August 9, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Advice, Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Literature, Marketing, Non-Fiction, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Publishing, Self-Help, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Uncategorized, Writing Essentials
One comment This week has been *very* busy for me. The publishing world (I promise, this ties If you create it, they will come. Continue reading How to Market your Talent if you Cross-Pollinate (some practical guidelines)
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August 7, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Freelance Author, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Literature, Marketing, Motivation, Personal Experiences, Publishing, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
3 comments I’d like to think it was because at that moment in time, she didn’t see little old me from the dairy farm with no money–she saw Carla René, the brilliant, undiscovered painter who should’ve been the one to paint the Sistine Chapel instead of that deadbeat, Michelangelo. [...] August 6, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, General Topics, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Life Experiences, Literature, Marketing, Non-Fiction, Personal Experiences, Publishing, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
2 comments Once or twice this week I was able to sneak under Discipline’s radar. I got a lot done! I rent a room in my landlady’s home, so while she’s been on vacation this week, I have been keeper-of-the-canine, and with him being a German Shepard/Husky mix, he’s required a lot of my attention. I’ve also cooked a few good meals for myself, and came up with “DJ Squeak,” her cat’s new rap name. So you see, it wasn’t all fun and games. But, discipline always finds me and drags me back. [...] August 5, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Commentary, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Literature, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
2 comments It’s amazing how topics can just hit ya without expecting it, y’know? Like now. I was responding to another writer who replied to yesterday’s article, and in that response, I found myself soon delving deep into the topic of adding more conflict to one’s writing, when I realised, I’d probably be better off to expound upon that and put it here for public consumption. Not that it will actually give you consumption, but follow along. How are you with conflict? My friend, mid-list author J. A. Konrath (who just got published for an interview this week in Newsweek about this whole self-pub craze), was a member of my online writing group before he was anyone with his six-figure advance from Hyperion Press for Whiskey Sour, and when he had time to contribute, he would always hammer one thing: If you’re having trouble with your piece, go back to conflict. And he was right. Conflict is inherent in everything we touch, see and do. So why do we avoid it in story-telling? Maybe because we’re afraid of it. How often do we avoid it in real life? I know in private, when I get behind the wheel of a car, suddenly I’m possessed with Turret’s Syndrome, but when I’m sober? Look out! Continue reading Conflict! I need more conflict!
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August 4, 2010
I hate it when I have weeks like this. The last two days have certainly been busy, and hectic, but the truth of the matter is, I’ve been a real slackass and haven’t gotten much done. How is this physiologically possible? I mean, I’ve applied for some acting jobs out of it, and that’s good because it’s a paid gig for Halloween–one of my favourite times–but what else do I have to show for it? Uh, a novel that didn’t get worked on yesterday because I could feel my mind beginning to implode, and as of right now I still need to sit down with it, and two columns I am just now getting to, and here it is, 10:00 at night. (Which really sounds more dramatic than it is, because I end up turning in usually no earlier than 5 A.M. But follow along.) *sigh* Doesn’t speak too well of my social life, does it? I mean, it’s not like I even had one up until now, but now it seems the small one I was beginning to cultivate has gone to hell in a big old doily-covered basket. That doesn’t make me happy. Continue reading I don’t think more writing can be healthy for a writer.
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August 3, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Attitude, Books, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Humor, Inspiration & Motivation, Literature, Marketing, Personal Experiences, Publishing, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
Leave a comment After ALL of this self-aggrandising I’ve done, you’d think some of it would have paid off a little quicker. I think I broke some rules of etiquette, but here’s what I did: [...] August 2, 2010
Posted by Carla René in: Advice, Attitude, Book Marketing Online, Books, Comments & Discussion, Creative Writing, Entertainment, Fiction, Humor, Life Experiences, Literature, Marketing, Opinion, Personal Experiences, Publishing, Short Stories, The Writer's Corner, Writing Essentials
9 comments I will not puff myself up (except for the lie about implants) to make me seem better than I am. Merely looking at me will convince you of this. So I won’t lie and say I’m not a fresh, new face on the publishing scene. I am. Have you seen my skin?? The real point being, I’m just starting out on this self-publication journey, and instead of blogging ad nauseum about toxic waist (Pun intended), or deforestation, or even the recession, I’ve decided that I’d like to share my pure and raw experiences, both good and hideously disfiguring disappointments, in the blog. I mean, what good am I to keep around if you can’t truly mock me? [...] |
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The Wright Brothers Never Invented the Airplane–Part II
Yes, I know I owe you an update from last week, but my homework started to get the best of me so I needed to put this on hold temporarily, so I’ll combine two weeks’ class updates into one post.
I’ve always joked my end would be death by homework. Now it’s not so funny. Well, okay, maybe it’s just a little funny.
But not to me. Okay, so I’ve laughed about it.
Can we move on?
Did you know the Wright Brothers never really invented the airplane? They get all the credit for doing so because they were savvy enough to get to the patent office first. The actual inventor of the airplane was Glenn Curtis (unless you’re a die-hard Brazilian and then it’s Dumont).
Curtis was commissioned by Alexander Graham Bell to create an engine for a “heavier-than-air” machine, thanks to his stupendous reputation for inventing and working with machinery. When the private pilots’ licenses were issued, he received his first. Orville Wright received license number five, because at that time, the licenses were issued in alphabetical order. And then there was that whole Patent Office snafu that any idiot with a finger can Google. Continue reading The Wright Brothers Never Invented the Airplane–Part II