Sometimes life is all about family even though we are not aware of it. Thanksgiving dinner is usually one of those times when family and friends we consider family gather together to give thanks and to just be together. Being a real family unit is something modern families don’t always find time for. Work, school and activity schedules collide and children eat at one time and parents eat on the one. Meals aren’t nutritious, homework is corrected by the Internet and exhaustion sets in before you realize your child’s bedtime prayers include the hope that mommie and daddy still love them because they never have time for them. When you become aware of that happening you need some quality time with your family. You need to make some cupcakes.
My three year old granddaughter loves cupcakes but I didn’t know that until a few weeks ago when she came over and talked non stop about the cupcakes she had a friend’s birthday party. “Mama and I made cupcakes last week” she informed me with a smile then added: “Mama Minnette, do you like cupcakes?”
“Of course I love cupcakes.” That’s when I decided that I needed to know my girls a little better. My daughter Dominique who makes cupcakes with her daughter Alicia and my daughter Giselle not far away at Drexel University where she is a resident assistant in a dorm and makes cupcakes for her charges.
So I made a promise. “When Auntie G comes home (that’s what Alicia calls her Aunt Giselle) we are going to all make cupcakes.”
Of course my granddaughter did not forget. She is three and if you promise a child anything they will remind you. Constantly. They pretend to forget to brush their teeth and to eat all their veggies but they never forget a promise you made. In fact during the week when I spoke to Alicia after daycare she would ask about Auntie G and the cupcakes. Friday was coming soon I promised her and Auntie G would be home and cupcakes would be made.
I am fortunate that my husband and daughters are good cooks. It was less work for me when they were growing up and I was acting or writing. Although they try they are all still working on their baking skills, which is my area of expertise. I think it has to do with the fact that one must be precise with measurements in order to bake, but to cook? Well, a sprinkle of this, a pinch of that and you can help create a roasted masterpiece. We have a large kitchen and enough room for a party let alone 4 and a half cooks. But this wasn’t about the cooking. It was about the family.
We hadn’t seen Giselle in over six weeks since she has dorm duties. And we all had a touch of some bug. Giselle got hit the worse with the flu and a sinus infection at the same time. My husband wondered why she was coming home and I looked at him like he had three heads. When I told him she was coming to rest some more he replied she could do that in the dorm. I finally had to spell it out for him: “There’s no place like home.”
Dominique and her other family only live blocks away. But with her looking for a job and Alicia in school we don’t see them that often. She is a great mom and I tell her that often. She and Alicia’s father want to do so much for their child. Dad was going to get a break on Friday night. He could hang with his friends because the girls were having a sleepover at grandmama’s and granddaddy’s house. And of course making cupcakes.
I don’t know why I was so excited about doing this. When Alicia was a baby I let her pretend to bake by playing with my pots and pans. Banging them didn’t bother me because she was happy and that’s what I wanted for her, complete happiness in childhood. It comes with discipline and love. Children who get everything they want are not going to be satisfied earning things in life. Alicia gets a lot but not everything. She is well disciplined and it is obvious to see she is loved. Her happiness spills over when she walks into a room. But being grandma I had to make this a special night for her. Not by going over my recipes and pulling out one that would make a culinary masterpiece. I got her an apron and chef’s hat and some boxed mixes so we could all work together quickly because little ones get bored fast and then get to the important part of making cupcakes. The frosting.
When Alicia saw all the new pans I had and the other boxed mix she asked: “Are we making brownies, too?”
Of course we were. I had something for everyone to do. Giselle was mixing the brownies to pour into pans that would create brownie pops. Dominique was mixing the cake batter, now and then Alicia would stir. But Alicia’s job was putting the little paper cups in the muffin pans. I have to admit she did an excellent job and looked quite spiffy in her chef’s outfit.
I washed dishes and handed out ingredients while I made a salad for dinner. And when granddaddy put on his apron and fried fish, Alicia was delighted they were dressed alike. Three generations in the kitchen cooking and laughing and talking. Granddaddy told Alicia he was going to eat all the cupcakes and she told him with lots of laughs and smiles that they were all hers. After dinner she ate one that she covered with super sweet store bought cherry frosting and spent time with me reading a book while her mom and Auntie G cleaned the remains of the dishes and had sister time. Alicia and I called my mother, her great grandmother that she decided to call Mama Norma, and she talked on and on about cupcakes. I could feel my mother’s smile through the phone. Four generations made happy by making cupcakes.
At bedtime Alicia crawled into her mother’s lap and I watched my daughter rock her baby to sleep as we sat and talked in whispers. Granddaddy peeked in every now and then to make his presence known, tickling and kissing his granddaughter, teasing his daughters and smiling at me. Then he went back to watch whatever game held his attention. It was one of the best evenings I have had in a long time. An unexpected gift out of season.
When my daughter and granddaughter left the next morning I felt happy and secure and I couldn’t put my finger on why. My husband woke up asking “Is Alicia up yet?” It was barely 8 am and he never gets up that early on a Saturday. And when I went into the room where they stayed Alicia was dressed and on a blanket her wonderful mother had put on the carpet playing with her dolls and her puzzle books.
“I get up early, mama.” She said and Dominique nodded and rolled her eyes. When I started to leave the room to get something the little one grabbed my hand. “Don’t leave Mama Minnette. I want to talk to you.”
We talked, we played, we hugged and the gift kept building in my soul. Granddaddy got up full of tickles to Alicia’s giggles. Auntie G came down despite the fact that this was way too early for a college student to be up on a weekend. We all went to the kitchen and packed cupcakes for Alicia to take on her play date. She went home and told her father all about the cupcakes and the apron that she would wear the next time she cooked with us and the good time she had.
That was just what we all needed. A good dose of family, the family we created. If you bother to make a family you should take care of it. And that care is not always handing out toys or money. Take care that you see them smile and laugh, that there are tickles and giggles in their day. Give them memories more often than you give them cash. And in the end remember, a few cupcakes couldn’t hurt either.
