A woman was raped in our neighborhood last week. Those of you who know only the media misconceptions of living in New York city may say this is to be expected. Those who have been informed that Harlem is hell on earth, which it isn’t I guarantee or I would not have successfully raised two children here, will stand firm in their beliefs that the urban ghetto is no place for decent human beings. The man has yet to be caught but the neighborhood has rallied to aid in finding him.
Word spread quickly, first as gossip suggesting that some arrested for disorderly conduct were responsible for the attack. After a visit to the police precinct my husband found out the real story and is getting copies of the police artist sketch of this criminal. He followed the woman into a secluded place where she had some belongings at 2 or 3 in the am, a place she had been entering safely for many years off a semi dark alley. she was brave enough to report the incident to police but now she must be thinking what did I do to cause this?
The victim is not, to blame for the crime but unfortunately she did what many of us do when we feel privileged. The poor woman was not cognizant of the fact that her desire to be free to go wherever she wanted to go whenever she wanted was a chance for a criminal to take advantage of her. While I fear for her and all the women in the world who try to move around freely I want to remind them that any kind of freedom has boundaries.
The first time this hit me I was in my early 20′s driving around Atlanta in my brand new car, partying and hanging out until all hours of the night. The Age of Aquarius was not always the age of enlightenment. I thought I was playing it smart by having someone walk me to my car if the parking lot was not well lit or it was incredibly late. Once in my car I always locked the doors but not before checking to see if anyone was in the back seat. I had seen too many movies where a knife welding masked man jumped up in the rear and attacked the driver-male or female. One evening I was feeling for lack of a better word cocky and drove into a fast food joint that was open well past midnight. I was starving and thinking its a place to eat and safe from bad seeds. There was no drive in window and I was about to get out and go into the place when I looked around the parking lot. There were no other cars but a few less than savory looking gentlemen leaning on the rear fence which led to a wooded area. I had no idea what they were thinking but they were staring at my car. Something told me it was a mistake to think I would not be at least verbally accosted if I stepped outside my vehicle. I started the car and went home reminding myself to think clearly about where I was and what I was doing even if my generation believe women could do anything.
We can and we can’t. We cannot stop the criminal mind, we cannot stop criminals from doing whatever they can to destroy us. Locks are not to keep the bad guys out, they are to keep good people honest. But we can give the bad guys less of a chance. Looking in front of us and behind us when we are out at any time of day is as important as not walking down a dark alley at night because we feel comfortable in our surroundings. Certain comforts may cause a lapse in judgement. Locking doors and traveling in groups are not the only ways we must protect ourselves.
It angers me that because of our sex women are forced to sit out certain freedoms. New York is open all night but because of a rapist loose in the area more women will stay home at nights, fearful of what greets them out there. No running to the corner store late at night for a snack or milk for morning cereal when you are afraid of passing the scene of the last crime. Had it always been so dark there or did you just notice it because of the scar left on your soul by what happened to another woman? Short of carrying a concealed weapon there is no way you can assert all your freedoms.
Be aware.
